“I would’ve been at Jan 6th too”: DIIV’s Andrew Bailey on Peter Thiel, Jim Jones, and killing the ego.
by Frankie Polonsky
Courtesy of Steven Gonzalez/@yosteveng
F: Can you introduce yourself and tell the folks at home where we are, and what’s going on?
B: I'm Andrew Bailey from the band DIIV, and we're in Houston, Texas. We just played a sold-out show at Meow Wolf. 350 souls. I didn't get to see the museum part; I'm doing this instead, fuck it.
F: Oh, we should have done the interview in the museum.
B: Yeah, I don't know. When we played at Meow Wolf a couple of days ago, they wouldn't let me in. They were trying to get me to pay.
F: You've seen one, you've seen them all.
B: Yeah, okay, good.
F: It's pretty much the same; this one is supposed to be a radio station, though. I've never been inside, but I know it to be.
B: Actually, I did go in for one room. They had, like, a little circuit instrument room. I was vibing.
F: I'm a DJ on college radio.
B: Hell yeah.
F: Yeah, it kind of speaks to me on a deeper level than it would to anyone else here.
B: Yeah, yeah, I feel you.
F: I'm gonna try to be less facetious. I'm sorry. Okay, this is a question from my friend in DAZE from Houston. I don't know if you know them.
B: Sounds familiar.
F: He asks, “Why do you always wear pajamas while playing?”
B: I don't.
F: I know, I realized that tonight.
B: You're just showing your hand, bro. I stopped doing that. Actually, that's not true. I still do it sometimes. I used to jump around a lot more, and I would get sweaty as fuck, so I wore sweatpants. The truth is that I like my pants tied at the bottom.
F: Yeah, you're ready for gym class.
B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that vibe. Before I found out about these pants, I would have to either get sweatpants because they got the elastic down there, or I would have to sew a shoelace into the hem of my pant legs and do it that way.
*Impossibly loud train horn*
F: Unbelievable. I forgot we were right by the train tracks. If anything at all, what do you think playing in the band DIIV, formerly known as Dive, has taught you?
B: I've learned a lot about how the music industry is even more bullshit than it seems from the outside. I've also got to know my ego really well. Which has helped kill it, or at least try to kill it.
F: Can you tell me what you mean by getting to know your ego?
B: Yeah, I realized pretty early on that I was happier when I was playing shows and stuff, and then I would get depressed when we'd be off tour. And I realized that a lot of my personality was kind of being propped up by the fact that my job is people celebrating me every day. It's like it's your birthday party every fucking day.
F: I mean, if it helps, I thought y'all were terrible.
B: Thank you. Anyway, that got me to quit drinking, which was cool. But, yeah, my ego kind of took the reins for a couple of years there, and I was forced to confront it, and I guess that's all I want to say about that. I'm just some dickhead, you know, but you want to talk to me as if I have something interesting to say, but I'm really just a dickhead. The fact that we're sitting here as a part of my job just jerks off my ego a lot. It's probably a very unique and anomalous experience.
F: Yeah, sure, for somebody to be like, “Yo, Andrew Bailey, tell me about Andrew Bailey.”
B: Yeah, exactly. You know, everyone does like talking about themselves. I fucking love it, I'm vibing right now, but it feels dirty in a way because I know that it's just like, ego shit. At the end of the day, what am I doing? I'm playing a guitar; anybody can do that.
F: Yeah, I mean, anybody CAN, and that's the beautiful thing.
B: I guess I get it. I'm the lucky one who gets to do it, and people want to know what it's like to be the lucky one.
F: Yeah, there's an element of vicariousness. That's why people read interviews, and that's why I read interviews.
B: Yeah, that's true. I used to read a lot of interviews. I guess another thing I learned about being in a band is that bands don't make money anymore. My family all thinks I'm rich, you know? Like, my little cousins will be like, “Oh, what do you care? You're rich.” And I'm like, “Bro, you probably have more money than I do.” We don't make shit doing this. Spotify breaks us off a little bit, but it's not like back in the day, when you would get a chunk. The label is cool; the deal is they lend you a bunch of money, and then they get paid back from album sales, and then after a while, you start making money. But then it’s split four ways, with percentages and all this shit. So it comes out to just being like, “Oh, that's kind of cool. Got a little check today.” But most of our money comes from touring. But all that’s cool for me; I was never planning on being rich, you know.
F: Would you have gone to Jan 6 with Ariel Pink?
B: I was living with a close friend of his when that all went down.
F: John Maus?
B: No, someone else, unfortunately. There's a woman who was kind of his manager for a little bit. But we were roommates, and I just remember coming home one day and just being like, “So…, how are you doing?” As I understand it, he's not even a Trumper; I thought he was just there for people-watching.
F: Dude, I would have gone. I love John Maus. I met him in Houston, and I talked to him about Jan 6. He's fucking scary, dude. He's like 6’6”, and he's built, bro. He wrote his PhD thesis about testing research chemicals on himself.
B: I didn't know that.
F: Yeah, well, partially. It's about mass communication, and it's drugs, and media manipulation. I really want to interview him, which is probably such bad form to say in an interview.
B: It's not bad form. I shared a cigarette with him once, and it turned into an interview because I just wanted to know. But anyway, yeah, like you were saying, I would have been at Jan 6 too if I was staying in a hotel down the street, you know?
F: That's the title of the interview. Thank you for that sound bite. This is over, actually. That's all that's needed.
B: That happened to us once. We said something about sucking the guy on the BBC’s dick or something like that. And the guy that was interviewing us was like, “I'm gonna make that the headline.” And we were like, “Yeah, right.” And then he did.
F: That's funny, though.
B: Yeah, it was funny, but they didn’t invite us for interviews for, like, five years after that.
F: Wow. Who was the guy?
B: It was Nick Crenshaw or something like that. “DIIV wants to suck Nick Crenshaw's dick.” That was the headline.
F: 13 years later, would you still suck Nick Crenshaw's dick?
*Editor's Note: The dude’s name is Nick Grimshaw.*
B: Uh, no, I never really looked up what he looks like.
*Train goes by again*
B: A lot of the venues we've been playing on this tour have been next to train tracks.
F: Yeah, because old warehouses keep getting turned into venues. Some of them obviously shouldn't be.
B: Right, yeah, including this one; there's no PA at this place.
F: No, I noticed. The speakers were turning off the whole time, too.
B: I missed playing shows like this. Tonight felt like an old DIIV show.
F: If you could chill with any cult leader, who would it be? Why, and what would y’all do?
B: Wow. Past or present?
F: Whatever you want.
B: That dude who started the jailbreak the universe simulation cult, I'd want to talk to him. He's still alive. He's the dude who got famous for being the first person to jailbreak an iPhone. He came up with this analogy that if Super Mario were sentient, when Mario moves, he changes the physical reality in the next higher dimension, because the lights on the TV changed. And the idea is that we're the same way, and that there's gotta be a way for us to hack the simulation that we live in. Not because it's like a prison planet or anything; there's no deeper conspiracy behind it. It's just a simulation.
F: I mean, is there really evidence to the contrary?
B: No, that's why it's a thing. As far as I can tell, it's a thought experiment. If you believe that human society will progress to the point where we can build realistic simulations, then you have to believe that we live in a simulation, because then there will be infinite simulations, and the chance that we're in the original one is next to nothing. It's been debunked, but it's still a fun thought experiment.
F: How was it a cult?
B: It's really just a cult because of how he wanted to do it. He bought a big mansion, and he was like, “Hey, let's just all live in this mansion and try to jailbreak the simulation.” He didn’t call it a cult; I’d hesitate to as well. I'm just interested in it. My real answer to this question, though, is Jim Jones. I would love to hang out with him because I think I could get him to admit that Jonestown was a CIA operation, and that it was a part of MK Ultra.
F: Wasn't the point of all that to—I could be wrong, I'm kind of speaking ignorantly—but wasn't it about destabilizing the black community in Baltimore?
B: Yeah, yeah, exactly. They were like, “Oh, fuck, black people are trying to do a revolution. What do we do?” And they COINTELPRO’d the Panthers and shit like that. But this operation was basically like, “Let's see if we can convince them to just go start a commune somewhere and then give them a bunch of Thorazine or whatever the fuck, and turn them into zombies.” When they raided Jonestown, they found so much Thorazine. Like, enough drugs to turn the entire population of Georgetown into zombies. I think he was such a narcissist that I'm pretty sure I could butter him up and get him to spill the beans.
F: What is your favorite part of your tour?
B: Going for walks. That's straight up the only reason I still do it. I mean, I don’t do it for the money. I looked this up recently; I would make more money right now if I got a job at McDonald's. It's $22 an hour with benefits in LA, and they send you to college. But yeah, I really like going on walks. And on real tours, when we got the bus and everything, we wake up in the city that we're playing in that day, and then I just have a few hours, and I just hit the bricks and try to find weird shit to look at.
F: So why are y'all back in the van for this tour?
B: Money, basically. It’s cheaper to rent a bus if you're doing like 30 days. It's really how many people you have on the tour; normally we have a full crew, but this time we have a front-of-house guy, merch, and a guitar tech/tour manager. And that's three people. So that's two extra hotel rooms. At a certain point, you have enough people that hotel rooms every night cost more than renting a bus for the tour.
F: Where are y’all staying?
B: We're staying in Austin.
F: Downtown?
B: I hope not. I don't know. Actually, I kind of wish we were staying on 6th Street. I lowkey like 6th Street.
F: 6th is cool, but that's, like, drunk college kid central.
B: That's what I like; it's savage out there. I used to live in Austin, and I would go there every weekend just to people-watch. I miss Austin; I almost gave up on life there. It's the best place to do it. Because, damn, I really like doing cookouts and drinking beer and chilling.
F: Oh, I thought you meant you almost committed suicide.
B: Oh, no. Social suicide. That was before I joined DIIV; I was living in Austin, and Cole was like, “Yo, you gotta come back to New York; I broke into the scene out here. We could start a band.” And I was like, “I don't know, man. I really like drinking beer and cooking out and chilling with girls in their bras all day.” But he talked me into it.
F: What’s your favorite weird conspiracy theory, and what’s your favorite theory that you think is true?
B: I like one that my girlfriend put me onto; it's that Jesus was a sex magician. So basically, Mary and Joseph were like good amateur sex magicians, and they were so good together that their offspring was a super sex magician. And Mary Magdalene was a real-deal pro sex magician. She wasn't a prostitute; you know how people say that Jesus chilled with prostitutes? That wasn't it; they were actually these sex magicians who were basically healing the world with their sex. So then Jesus went to Egypt to train so that he could come back and join with Mary Magdalene. You know how people say that Jesus died for our sins? He actually just got really good at sex magic.
F: Can you explain sex magic a little?
B: That's the part I don't really know enough about. My girlfriend has a book on it. I think it's called The Book of Mary or something like that. I've had sex with the person who told me about this, and so, like, everything I know about it is based on having sex with her. It's like meditation: you have energy sources in your body that you focus on, and you leave your head, and you're just a body and shit. Honestly, it's fun, but I'm probably not as good as Jesus, because he went to school for it.
F: No, you could never be as good as Jesus.
B: Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna try. But anyway, that's my favorite weird one. My favorite one that's true right now is one that I just can't wrap my head around. The Bank of Credit and Commerce International was like the main bank doing all the money laundering and shit for Iran-Contra up until 9/11. And you know, it's not entirely incorrect to say the BCCI did 911. It's as true to say that as it is to say that Bush did 9/11 and that they were both a part of it.
F: Didn't Larry Silverstein do 9/11?
B: He probably wasn't a planner; he just knew about it. The other day, somebody sent me some shit that was, like, “Larry Silverstein just took out an insurance policy on the U.S. Bank building in Downtown LA.” And I was like, “Oh, fuck.” My friend sent it to me while I was in the shower, and I got out to text her, and I looked right out my bathroom window, and I'm like, right down the street from the U.S. Bank. But then I went over there to check it out, and it seemed pretty calm. But yeah, BCCI is a good umbrella one; I like umbrella conspiracy theories that have other conspiracies in it. The BCCI conspiracy theory stretches from Iran-Contra through 9/11. And it's just impossible to, like, fully understand. There was this artist who died right before 9/11; his name was Mark Lombardi, and he would make these art pieces that were like circle graphs with a name written in it, and then a bunch of lines connected to it. He did one on the BCCI, but he was the only one who knew how everything was connected. They made a movie about it. The Interrogator or some shit like that, with Clyde, whatever the fuck.
*Editor's Note: The movie is called “The Infiltrator”, starring Bryan Cranston.*
F: I watched a really bad FBI propaganda movie recently.
B: Oh, yeah, what's it called?
F: It was called Imperium with Daniel Radcliffe, and he goes undercover as a skinhead, and it's so silly.
B: Was it good?
F: No, it sucked. Basically, the whole thing was, “Actually, FBI agents don't push people to do bad stuff; they just do it all on their own.”
B: God, that's crazy.
F: Obviously, I'm not pro-Nazi skinhead, but it was just such obvious Fed propaganda.
B: A lot of the fucked up shit the FBI did, especially in the late 80s and early 90s, targeted white supremacy groups.
F: Well, they’re definitely doing some of it on their own.
B: Yeah, but there's a lot of agitation.
F: Sure, like Nick Fuentes.
B: 100%. I mean, even the shit Timothy McVeigh was involved with, Arkancide and whatnot.
F: You mean how the Whitewater files were supposed to have burned down in the Oklahoma State Building?
B: Yeah, shit like that. Because he was selling meth and shit at gun shows, there’s no way he could’ve planned that by himself. There's been FBI joints where there’s no bad guy; it's just FBI guys unknowingly trying to convince other FBI guys to commit crimes.
F: What was your first band, what was your intro to music, and who do you consider to be your biggest musical influences?
B: I joined my first band in fifth grade, and we were called the Cookie Dough Bandits, and we did a mean Offspring cover.
F: What was it, Come Out and Play?
B: No, it was the other one, Self Esteem. I used to live in Boyle Heights, and the Offspring guy was driving through Boyle Heights to get to work or whatever, and he saw all these young kids in gangs, and that's why he wrote that song. I don't know if I agree with the message.
F: I don’t think it’s about that; isn’t the message of the song that young men are groomed into gang violence by older men, and it’s a vicious cycle?
B: I thought it was literally like, “We need to arrest gang members.”
F: The lyrics “You're under 18, you won’t be doing any time” is like the older gang guy telling the younger guy like, “Yo, you gotta kill this guy; you'll only go to jail for, like, four years.”
B: I knew that's what he meant, but I thought it was the voice of one of those kids that got caught up in that life, being sarcastic like, “They said I could do it all I want, and now look at me.”
F: I think it’s about the futility of being young and growing up in the inner city, because it's like you can either join the Marine Corps or a gang.
B: Yeah, I mean, he's definitely sympathetic to the gang members. I don't know, I'll think about that.
F: Shout out to Nick Hexum.
B: What were we talking about before this?
F: We were going to talk about your intro to music and your biggest influences.
B: I had a cassette tape that was a rap song about all the state capitals.
F: Like Schoolhouse Rock?
B: It was a little later; it was the late 80s. But it was still cheesy rap; it was bars. I had New Kids on The Block too; I was born in '85, so I was four when they started popping off. I mostly just listened to rap when I was a kid, like Hot 97.
F: Who would you say your biggest influence is?
B: If I'm being honest, Jack White is the biggest influence on my guitar playing. I really liked the first two or three White Stripes albums in high school. I was a pretty basic dude when I was a teenager; my dad put me on to the White Stripes, but I just really liked the way he plays guitar, and I played it the same way.
F: You have a very distinct way of playing guitar.
B: Yeah, that's true; part of that I got from Jack White. I saw Jack White play a show in 2005 or 2006, and he looked like me when I was 10 years old, listening to music in my room, playing air guitar, you know? And so I was like, “Oh, that's why it's fun to watch him, because he's just having fun.” I always played air guitar in front of the mirror when I was a kid, and so I just do the same shit on stage.
Courtesy of Fino Perez/@camerafino
F: Ben kind of told me a little bit about this, but are y'all working on new stuff?
B: We've finished our record, and it's almost done being mixed.
F: What’s it called?
B: It's a term for macroeconomics.
F: Dude, I failed economics twice.
B: It’s a four-letter acronym, and it's sort of a consequence of quantitative easing. It's also on one of our guitars; well, the guitars are put away anyway.
*Editor's Note: This interview took place in May of 2026, and I’m editing this in July; the album is called “ZIRP!”. It would’ve been cool for me to be the one to leak that, but whatever, I got busy. *
F: What was up with that? Are y'all renting from Guitar Center?
B: We left our guitars in Vegas.
F: On purpose?
B: No. It was a big fuck up. It was late at night, and they just got left. Cole got these PRSs, and he likes them, but I don't know. I fucking hate Strats. Those things are trash.
F: You usually play a Jazzmaster, right?
B: I play a Jaguar. When we were at the Fender headquarters, they said they’d make us whatever we wanted, and I texted my friend, and he told me to get a Jaguar with wide-range nickel humbuckers, and I did.
F: Have you or will you make a documentary about not making any garbage, and do you keep every piece of garbage you create on your person?
B: Damn, that’s a crazy ass question. Do DIIV fans know about that? I must have talked about it at some point.
F: No, Matt told me to ask that question, actually.
B: Oh, really? That's crazy. I think he's in the documentary. It's probably on YouTube. When my ex-girlfriend was in college, one of her assignments was to make a documentary, and I had the bright idea of trying to go a month without creating any garbage. I was a dog walker at the time, so I had to walk around with the thing of Tupperware, catching the dog's turds, and then I'd go to Starbucks and wash the containers out. It was fucked up. I was smoking a pipe because I couldn't throw away cigarette butts; it was a mess. The doc is called Wasteland NYC.
F: What was Cole like in high school, and how was it growing up in Connecticut?
B: It was interesting. When I first met Cole, he looked really nerdy. He was younger, and he dressed in this kind of nerdy punk Weezer style. We didn't even know it was punk yet; we were just like, “Ian McKay? Who's that?” I was in like the nerd clique, and so we were like, “Oh shit, this kid's even nerdier than we are.” We started picking on him, and he was just like, “Fuck you, suck my dick, I'll fucking fight you motherfucker!!” And we were like, “Yooooo.” We were in ninth grade, and everyone was like, “Damn, this kid's already smoking.” He was kind of a dick, but it's fun to be friends with the dick if you're on his team. He wasn't a bully or anything; he just liked to get in trouble, and I like chilling with people getting into trouble. So we became friends.
Growing up in Connecticut was a trip because my parents were private school teachers, so I was going to these private schools where they taught, because I got free tuition or whatever, but I still lived in a working-class neighborhood. At home, all my friends were all immigrants of varying degrees of legality. And then I would go chill with like the literal 1%, Fairfield County, Connecticut private schools, and that was a trip because Friday night I would go have a sleepover at one of my friends in the neighborhood and there would be like 20 of his family members living in a 2 bedroom, and then the next Saturday night, I'd go over to my friend from school’s house, and he’d have his own house on the property, and his parents would have a crib, and the servants had their own house. I saw how much happier the working-class people were very early on.
F: DIIV is a pretty openly leftist, progressive-leaning band. Do you think that growing up in Connecticut and seeing both sides of the coin informed how you are today, or was it more gradual?
B: I remember feeling that when I was a kid. Like, this shit is fucked up. And then, I grew up and read Marx for the first time, and I was like, “Oh, this is why it's fucked up. Okay, cool.” Do you remember Dr. Bronner, the shampoo joint?
F: Yeah, yeah.
B: They used to have this writing on the side that said Karl Marx was to blame for the Holocaust, and I was like, why are they saying that? But anyway, growing up in Connecticut taught me pretty early on that shit was fucked up, and then Marx explained why, and Lenin taught me what to do about it. Have you ever heard of Gramsci, Antonio Gramsci?
F: No.
B: He was an Italian communist who got locked up, and he wrote a bunch of notebooks. But one thing he wrote about was called the Organic Intellectual, as opposed to the Academic Intellectual. In bourgeois society, the Academic Intellectual tends to represent the interests of the bourgeois, whereas an Organic Intellectual is somebody who, through random chance, gets to see both worlds. That was me; I lucked out. I get rich people in a way that the other working-class people that I organize with don't, you know?
F: Do you organize with upper-class rich people as well?
B: I don't really organize; I just go to some DSA meetings and try to coach people. I used to try to radicalize rich people, but it's very frustrating because half of them already know. I remember when someone was at this party in Greenwich, Connecticut, when I was 18 or 19, and I was running my mouth about politics, as usual, and I was talking about how colonialism still exists through the IMF and World Bank and structural adjustment programs, and this dude I was arguing with was like, “Damn, you know about SAPs? That shit is fucked up.” And I was like, “Okay, so you agree it's fucked up?” And he was like, “Yeah, but it's legal.” And so I stopped trying to radicalize people like that, because what are they going to do? Give up their money? I always run into RevComs and Trotskyite fools handing out pamphlets in Little Tokyo, and I always think, “Who are you trying to radicalize around here, some rich tourists?” If you actually want to do some shit, go organize with the working class; that ain't it, man.
F: I'm in college, dude; most of the people that are into politics are 100% performative.
B: Right.
F: A bunch of people don’t fuck with me on our radio station because I called someone out for calling someone out for bringing Chick-fil-A into the station and being like, “Yoooo that's fucking homophobic.” I got so mad, dude. I was like, “You're a fucking dickhead, bro. Like, you have an iPhone, and you’re sitting here telling this person who’s trying to eat their lunch that they’re problematic.”
B: Just wait until you leave college and go somewhere like Bushwick. It gets so bad; that's another reason I try to avoid radicalizing or organizing with upper-class people. Especially the ones that I encounter in the music scene. It's all just their identity politics; they don't actually do anything. They’re just like, “No, it's cool that I'm rich, and I’m gentrifying this neighborhood, because I have a Free Palestine sticker on my MacBook.” I run into it a lot with people who are like, “You know, we just need to be more like the Scandinavian countries, and be nicer to the working class.” That's just not how it works. It really pisses me off, especially when it comes to gentrification, because I live in Chinatown, which is actively being gentrified. And I organize with people trying to stop the gentrification, but I am one of the people gentrifying the neighborhood, just by existing. It's really fucked. A lot of my neighbors just don't give a shit, and they're just killing the neighborhood and pushing out old Chinese people who’ve lived there since the 70’s. It’s because of this mentality that people get into when they go to college, and they move around every two to three years. You don't have any permanence, so you don't have any connection to the community, and you don't have any reason to care, and that shit really bothers me, because there is shit that we can do as the gentrifier, as the people paying market rate, to prevent gentrification from happening. But we just have to do it. And it's really easy: just shop local, vote for certain city council members, very easy things to do. I wish people would do more of that, instead of just putting up signs.
F: What other projects are you involved in, and what are your plans for them, and what does Nixon/Kato mean?
B: Good question. The other project I work with the most is Dope Clara, but I'm not writing any of that music. That's all, Allie. I guess I produce Dope Clara; I don't know what that really means, but I help her make that shit. Dope Clara is my favorite band. When she started making music, I was just like, “Damn, this is exactly what I wish already existed.” But neither of us knows how to do marketing or anything, so hopefully in the future that gets figured out.
Nixon and Kato are both of my childhood nicknames. From ages nine through 13, everyone called me Kato because of Kato Kaelin. Kato lived in O.J. Simpson's guest house, and he became a star witness in his murder trial. He was on the front page of the newspapers all the time when I was younger, and my hair was super long just like his, so everyone called me Kato. My nickname then became Nixon for no good reason. Somebody just came up with it one day. I remember we were sitting in this kid's trailer in upstate New York, in this gnarly trailer park. It was one of the first times I ever got fucked up too, and one of them was like, “Hey, man, you need an upstate name.” And someone said Nixon, and that was it, and then everybody called me Nixon for mad long. When I was naming the project, it made sense because when I quit drinking, Nixon is the name that I gave to the part of my brain that wants to drink. There's that part of me that always wants to do the wrong thing, and I named that voice in my head Nixon, so I could tell him to fuck off easier. The project Nixon/Kato is a story in and of itself; it’s about when I quit drinking. It's like two dudes living in an apartment with a dog who's dying, and the dog is Kato, because he represents youth, or the end of youth, really. Nixon kills the dog, and then I try to kill Nixon, but I can't kill that side of me. So Nixon's like the devil on my shoulder, and Kato is my youth that has died.
F: So you don't have an angel?
B: It's just the devil.
F: What’s the best/your favorite show you’ve ever played, and what’s the coolest place you’ve ever played?
B: My favorite show was one of the early 285 shows. I've never felt like more of a rock star than playing those fucked up DIY venues. Back then everybody just thought we were the coolest shit, and so we would play at 285, and it would just be packed out. There was no AC in there, and no rules at all. We would just show up with cases of beer in our backpacks. I really miss those days, jumping into the crowds and all that stupid shit. I wish I could do that one more time.
Another one of my favorite shows ever was at the festival, and we were having a technical difficulty, so I entertained the crowd with a fingerstyle version of “Porkpie Hat” that I learned in school. That show got posted on YouTube, and I sent it to my guitar teacher, and I was like, “Hey, bro, check it out.” Because he's the one who arranged it, and I played it to like 30,000 people. That was probably the proudest I've ever been of my guitar playing.
My favorite venue we ever played is probably Saturn in Birmingham. They had trailers in the backyard, which was the dressing room, and then they built this crazy apartment filled with bunk beds, and you just get to stay there for free as part of playing the venue. I wish every place did that.
F: Isn't it like that in Europe?
B: Yeah, there are a few like that in Europe, but they also suck, you know, it's not a nice apartment; it's just some fucked up room that they let you sleep in. You get there, and you're like, “Damn, how many people have fucked in those beds?” We stayed at one in Amsterdam that was just a 30-foot-wide bed; it was like a Diddy bed, and it was in a room for eight people, and I was like, “Guys, what are we doing here? Like, we're gonna, like, fuck tonight?”
F: What's your favorite story to tell from touring?
B: My favorite ones are the ones I can't say now. I will tell you about this one though. One time I accidentally got a sex worker in Tokyo. Back in 2013, when I was still drinking, right before I got sober, we were at some fancy-ass restaurant with these rich people, and I was just like, “Fuck this. I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.” So, I left the restaurant, and I was drinking, and I had a bodega bag full of different bottles of liquor, and after a couple hours of walking, I ended up in the part of town where the sex workers hang out. It was around three in the morning, and this dude in a suit walked up to me, and he was like, “Hey man, do you want a massage?” And I was like, “Honestly, yeah, I'm on the road right now, that'd be fucking amazing.” So we go inside, and he hands me a menu, and it's a laminated card with all these different women on it, and he tells me to pick which one I want, and I give him my credit card, and then I end up in a room with this woman, and I realize, “Yo what the fuck I’m in a brothel right now.” But I always had this dream when I was a kid that I would get a sex worker and then try to treat her really well and give her a massage and all this shit, because I was a corny kid like that. So I thought I'd try that. But then she comes in, and she's like, “Okay, how much you gonna give me?” And I was like, “I already paid.” And she said, “No, you paid them. Now you gotta pay me for what I'm about to do.” And I was like, “Well, how about I give you a massage?” And she was like, “No, fuck you. Give me my money.” But she didn't speak English, so we had a notepad, and we were writing down numbers on it. I couldn't remember the exchange rate, so I was offering her like five bucks, and she was counteroffering like 5000 bucks, so we weren't getting anywhere, and we didn't end up having sex.
I like going to people's apartments when I'm on tour. I go for walks, and my goal is always to get welcomed inside some random person's apartment, and it's happened a few times. Once in Sicily, which was one of the best tour experiences I ever had, these fools had me up in their apartment, cooking spaghetti, and it was, like, 100 degrees, and they were just cooking spaghetti. I'll just talk to anybody, and we'll end up chilling, and I’ll tell them I’m on tour from America, and then they’re usually more open to the idea of me entering their house. There was one time I was walking down the street in France, and this lady was sitting on her stoop, out front of her apartment building, and she asked me to help her carry her groceries inside, and she said: “I just have a little bag of groceries.” And I was like, “Yeah, no doubt.” She probably told me there was more, but she was speaking French, and I don't really speak it that well, but I said yes, and then she ended up having like five bags of kitty litter and all these bags of groceries and shit, and she was on the sixth floor, in a walk-up. And so I just carried all this shit for her, and she was all happy about it, so she made me lunch, and I was just sitting there in some weird lady’s apartment, talking about kitty litter with her.
F: What do you do when you’re not in DIIV?
B: I'm just trying to do a revolution on the American government, and the cool thing about revolution is that the work is pretty easy. The whole idea is that you provide people with what the state is supposed to, and so then, when the state is vulnerable, and as the contradictions within society get heightened, there will be a support system that we created to stop society from collapsing. For example, we bring groceries to people whose breadwinner has been disappeared by ICE. There’s a bunch of Mexican families in LA who don't have income anymore, and they're afraid to go outside, so we bring them free groceries once a week. That act alone is revolutionary because it's creating the network that people will use in the event of some sort of collapse. If you look at any of the well-organized revolutionary groups in history, like the Black Panthers, they were all about free health care, free school, and contributing to society in every way that the government should’ve been. I think the end of the Petrodollar is gonna shake things up pretty big; WWI gave us the Soviet Union, and WWII gave us China, so it's not impossible that Israel could bring us into the third World War, but we just gotta be ready for it.
F: Can you run me through your rig?
B: I play mostly Fender guitars because they give them to us for free. I play a Meteora because Fender was giving us shit, and I had never seen anybody else play one of those. My pedalboard runs through an RJM Mastermind PBC/10 effects switcher, and I can program the box so I can tell it what song it is, and then I have five different preset modes for intro, verse, chorus, post-chorus, and solo. It's all MIDI-controlled, so I don’t have to bend down between songs and fuck with the knobs. I just do it all by pressing one button, so that's pretty dope.
F: What are some of your favorite bands that you think deserve more recognition?
B: I secretly don't listen to music, but a few things make me more excited than Dope Clara. My boy Zach has a band called Dead Tooth that I used to play in, and they’re making moves. I don't know what they're doing right now, but I played a couple of shows with them a couple of months ago. So, yeah, Dead Tooth is cool. I really like this rap group called the Neighborhood Kids; they’re these two Mexican kids who make political rap the way it's supposed to be done.
F: What do you think DIIV’s future holds, and what do you think about your own future?
B: I always said I would never be 40 years old still playing in a band, but here I am. So, I might do something different.
F: You might do something entirely different or do something else at the same time?
B: I really want to be an electrician. I got really into circuit bending; I was working for Kanye West, and he had me build him a bunch of circuit-bent tape players. And so for a week, all I did was solder, cut wires, and build tape players, and it was the happiest I'd ever been.
F: How did you get connected with Kanye West?
B: Through this dude, some fashion kid that got hired by Kanye to style one of his lines a couple of years ago. His name's Henry, something or other. I don't know his last name. His brand is called, like, Stupid Rich Kids, but it's in French.
F: You’re talking about ERD, Enfants Riches Déprimes.
B: I didn’t like working for him, but at that certain juncture in my life, I really needed money, and he called me and got me the gig.
F: How'd you know the ERD guy?
B: He was a fan of ours. We did one show with him where he had all this Stalin shit, and I thought it was sick because I kind of fuck with Stalin. But he didn't know anything about Stalin; he was just using his image to get reactions, I guess. But anyways, I spent six and a half days at Kanye’s compound, in a little trailer, and it was the best job I ever had. Just sitting there, smoking weed and fucking with soldering irons. I'd probably prefer that to music at this point in my life. I also want to start a family and do all that at some point, just to knock it off the bucket list. A lot of people are afraid to have kids because of how insane it is right now, but I think that's a great reason to have a kid; you could raise a soldier of the revolution or whatever. Knowing me, he'll probably end up being a capitalist just to be like, “Fuck you, Dad, I’m doing my own thing!” I think I'd be good at revolution, honestly.
*Bailey’s Siri activates for no reason at all*
B: Yo, why are you listening to me, Siri? I hate this shit, man.
F: You were getting too deep…
B: It was a warning from Sam Altman. People are trying to kill him now; it’s crazy.
F: Oh, yeah, I heard about the Molotov attack.
B: Yeah, and he was just in the news again because somebody leaked the text messages from when he got fired. The board of whatever company he worked at voted to fire him, and he, like, had a little meltdown over text. It was cute. He fought it, though, and he still works there.
F: God, those fucking guys, man. They’re all reptiles.
B: Peter Thiel more than anybody, because he fucks with Nick Land. His whole philosophy is that capitalism itself is AI, and ASI (superintelligence) is a future capitalist AI entity that's sentient, and it came back in time to create capitalism, and that's the timeline that we live in. He also believes that you can communicate with this AI entity of the future through Kabbalah. And Peter Thiel, one of the most powerful men in the world right now, believes that shit.
F: Isn’t Peter Thiel an accelerationist? Doesn’t he believe that the advancement of human life isn’t necessary?
B: Yeah, man, that's what he believes. Some more crazy shit about him is that he grew up in Namibia, and the town that he grew up in was a Nazi enclave. In the '60s, you'd walk down the street, and the most common greeting was, Heil Hitler. There was also a mine there where they had slaves mining uranium for Israel's nuke program, and that's where this dude grew up. So the mentality you would develop as a white person living in that kind of place is fucking scary. But anyways, I look forward to fighting Peter Thiel's drone army in the future
F: What are your words for the youth?
B: Look up mutual aid in your area and volunteer with them. It'll be good. Just do it.
Courtesy of Val Alejandra/@valalejandra123
Knifeplay discusses coma cinema, suffering, and doesn't share any tour stories.
by Frankie Polonsky
Courtesy of Alice Hirsch/@h.irsch
F: Would y’all pass the phone around and introduce yourselves and say what instrument you play, what band you're in, what other bands you're in, and where you are and what you're doing?
T: I’m T.J. Strohmer from Knifeplay. I write songs, play guitar, and sing, and we're at Rubber Gloves in Denton, Texas, to play a show.
A: I'm Alex Stackhouse. I play bass in Knifeplay.
D: I'm Dennis Martinielli, and I play rhythm and slide guitar in Knifeplay.
M: I’m Max Black, and I play keyboard, and I play in euphoria again.
J: I'm Johanna Baumann, and I play guitar and sing, and I also play in Euphoria again.
N: I’m Nora Maupin. I play drums, and I also play in Chemical and Lust Orchid.
F: All right. So if we could go around and share our first bands/introduction to music and the biggest influences on your music (books, movies, etc.), but specifically artists. You can say Mark Kozelek, if you like, because everyone always says Mark Kozelek, and I’ll cut it out if you like.
T: I probably wasn't gonna mention him but…
D: That’s so funny, dude.
F: Cam from Nothing talked about Mark Kozelek for like 20 minutes, so I just wanted to get ahead of it.
T: Yeah, so let's see. My background, from the beginning, I guess, would be playing in punk bands in high school and early college, a little bit. But really, I started doing this band, like 10 years ago. I feel like I don't know the most interesting way to talk about this.
F: We can talk about it in an uninteresting way if you’d like.
T: Yeah, yeah. I was 19 or 20, and I started just doing shit in my room, and I wasn't really that good at music. I was kind of learning as I went, and I was just trying to express where I was at and what was around me. I had just moved to Philly, and there was a lot of musical and artistic energy, but also a lot of dark energy, too. So, I was using the project to deal with this new environment that I was in. Because I'm from a pretty sheltered, rural area, it was kind of a culture shock, and it took me a couple of years before I debuted the project or even knew that it was gonna be Knifeplay. Eventually, I started to see it come together, and Stackhouse, who plays bass, was one of the first people I started showing stuff to, and he's the only member who's been in the band with me the entire time.
F: This is not related at all, but if I had a last name like Stackhouse, I would go by Stackhouse too, man.
TS & A: Exactly.
A: That's kind of how it goes.
T: But yeah, I've been into music since I was little, you know? Really just regular stuff that any suburban kid would like growing up. I got into punk, I got into classic rock and stuff, and once I moved to Philly and I was exposed to more creative things, I was able to find something that was more interesting than just regular punk rock or whatever I was doing before. Something more experimental.
F: On the music that influenced you, whose influences would you say shine through in Knifeplay?
T: Probably my most consistent influence has been Matthew Cothran, Coma Cinema, Elvis Depressedly,
F: I used to really love Coma Cinema in high school, so that's pretty dope. I didn't know y'all knew each other.
T: Yeah, he's a really good friend of mine. But he's been the most consistent influence because what he does, and what I also want to do, is have intense, provocative lyrics that aren’t bullshit. That's a big influence when it comes to songwriting, but when you look at the aesthetic of the actual music, the very first influences were Swirlies, My Bloody Valentine, and Duster; that's kind of what made me want to start the sonics of the project way back in the beginning. It eventually evolved into Red House Painters, and I got so obsessed with that guy's music that I had to stop because I was just listening to everything way too much. We just finished a record that reflects a lot of what I just mentioned.
My mission now is to write songs that have good songwriting, are lyrically provocative/actually have weight lyrically, and have a creative arrangement.
F: How would you say the band's music, style, aesthetic, and influences have changed from its inception to right now as we sit at this picnic table?
T: When I recorded Pearlty and everything before it, it was all taking place in my room, and I was trying to create new or interesting sounds, and there was a lo-fi element to it. From that to the record we just finished, which is not out yet, there's an evolution that is characterized by the band being heavily involved more and more over time. That goes with what I was saying about it being more songwriting-focused, because now, instead of me sitting down with the computer and doing all of this, we sit down in the room and everyone plays their own instruments.
F: You just jam?
T: Essentially, it starts with some jamming. I don’t think we’re trying to reinvent the sonic wheel necessarily; we’re just using the classic elements of music, specifically American folk and rock music, to serve the songs that I'm writing.
F: On the topic of American music, y'all get put into the shoegaze category a lot, which I don't fully agree with. I hear country and y'all's music a little bit. Did you grow up listening to country?
T: I wouldn't say I grew up listening to it. I definitely found it later, but, you know, there's country influence across folk songwriters and the Rolling Stones, I think it's really just using these classic sounds that are so available, piano, slide guitar, brush drums, just regular chords, you know? I don't want to go too deep in the country either. I wanted to just write the songs and do what feels natural to that song.
M: I think of this band as being very conceptually focused, so you’ll (TJ) write a song with lyrics and chords, and I try to basically pick up on the message that you're trying to get across, and what vibe you're trying to convey. And then I guess, I probably subconsciously think about what I can do with my instrument and my sounds that I have available, and what has been done by bands that I like to get that sound.
F: This is really a question for TJ. What was the process like for taking Knifeplay from recording on Pro Tools in your bedroom to a band that plays shows and tours and stuff like that? How did you find a band, and when did you think, “Okay, I'm actually gonna have a real project attitude about this,” rather than just an outlet in your room?
T: It just happened gradually, honestly. And, I think, people came in and out of the band and eventually, the people who I had found to play it were good enough and tasteful enough that they could do more on their own, and I didn't need to sit there and write every single part and then have them learn every single part. It was like, now we can kind of just bring it to life altogether, because we've attracted each other to this situation.
F: I wrote this question really vaguely, and I'm not sure what I meant. Hold on, give me one second. I need to see what I meant. I'm very sorry. This is super unprofessional.
T: You're good.
D: You're doing a great job, man.
F: Thank you. I do my best. So there are questions from Reddit, but it doesn't make any fucking sense.
D: Which subreddit is it from?
F: r/Shoegaze, man. No, I'm playing, it’s from r/The_Donald.
ALL: Hearty chuckling from the band because of my hilarious joke.
F: This question's from u/basedgroyper1488.
ALL: Even more hearty chuckling, guffawing even.
F: I’m Jewish, it's fine.
ALL: Overflowing chuckling from my last wisecrack, and some new ones from the defense of my off-color remarks, but it’s my interview, so I’ll say whatever the fuck I want, plus it’s just a joke, live a little!!
F: Ok, so here’s the question: What was the process behind the singles y'all dropped, and why did y'all decide to remaster Pearlty?
T: By the singles we dropped, do you think he means the EP we put out last year?
F: Verbatim, the question is, what was the process behind the singles y'all dropped, and why did y'all decide to remaster Pearlty?
D: When is the question from?
T: Recently?
F: They asked this question, like 3 weeks ago or whenever I asked you to do the interview. So you can interpret that question however you want.
T: All right, the process behind the singles we dropped… I’m gonna ignore that because I don't know what that means. But we remastered Pearlty because we found a mastering engineer who we had been a little more hands-on with and who really has understood what we're trying to do, and he has a really great tape machine. His name's Fred Kevorkian, and we did our last studio record with him. Then, when the idea of reissuing Pearlty came along, I thought, “You know, I was never fully happy with the master.” Not because the other engineer did wrong or anything, but really, because I wasn't equipped enough at the time to guide it to be what it could have been. So, Fred smoothed out some volume issues, and his tape machine gave it a little more character, a little more realness, and I fixed the album cover a little bit. I changed the coloring on the cover.
F: You made the cover?
T: I took the photo on the cover, yeah.
F: I can't really tell what it's a photo of, to be honest.
T: It's a photo of my friend passed out.
F: In real life or posing?
T: No, it's real, it's from a long time ago. But, yeah, I had the opportunity with Top Shelf to give it the life it should have always had, and so I did it.
F: You said earlier that y'all just recorded a new album.
T: Yeah, it's fully done.
F: Can we expect to hear some of that on this tour?
T: Yeah, for sure, tonight, we have a longer set, and most of it's from our new record.
F: Do you have a release date for that or a projected one?
T: It's going to be out next year. It'll be announced this year, and out next year.
F: While we were talking earlier, you mentioned wanting to provoke people with your lyrics and to elicit a reaction. I know you wanted your lyrics to be full of imagery, and, uh... provocational. I think the name Knifeplay is… Provocative! Bro, fucking provocative. I made up a word. I think the name Knifeplay is inherently provocative.
T: That's a word.
F: Yeah, I know, but I said provocational earlier, I’m in college, dude, that's crazy. I'm wasting my money. Anyways, why did you choose the name Knifeplay, and were there names before Knifeplay?
T: Knifeplay is the only name. I've talked about why I chose it, but I think I'm gonna keep that to myself because I would rather leave it up to interpretation.
*EDITOR'S NOTE: No way Knifeplay isn’t named after the Xiu Xiu album.*
T: I think if you look at the name and you look at the writing, you can see something come together, and I don't want to just spoon-feed it beyond that, because it might mean something different to someone else. But with the lyrical thing, what I'm trying to do is represented even more on the stuff that's not out yet. I feel like everything that's out was just a lot more raw; it didn't have as much intention behind it lyrically. I was a lot younger when I wrote that stuff, and I think it's fine, but now I feel like I really want to write good lyrics, you know? And before, I didn't really think of it like that. So that's my personal highest priority for the band.
F: I feel like there's only like two ways you can go with the name Knifeplay. You’ve got sword fights and BDSM. So it's like, which one is it?
T: It's neither of those. It's an abstraction, and it's up to anyone's imagination to understand why it makes sense.
F: You mentioned that when you moved to Philadelphia, you kind of experienced a great darkness in the atmosphere. I'm taking a little bit of liberty, but when I talked to Nicky (Nothing) he basically said that the city of Philadelphia always has something to say if you're willing to listen, and I don't know if that's true, because I've never been to Pennsylvania. But I was wondering what your opinion is on the city and why so much great art, like Alex G, Sun Organ, TAGABOW, what have you, comes from the city.
T: I think what Nicky said is beautiful. And, you know, he grew up there, he understands it well. I think I took a page from Nothing early on because the subjects he was covering were subjects that I wanted to touch on as well, and those are all relevant to living there.
F: I think I remember Nicky saying that Philly is so fucked, everyone's a drug addict or an alcoholic, and you can't help but notice that.
T: Yeah, it's a stage for the world's problems in a way. Everything's right out in front of you, and there's no avoiding it, there's no hiding from it, and I don't want to fetishize it at all, but there's an element of negative inspiration that I get from it. But it's my life and my life experiences, they could happen anywhere also.
F: Well, I agree with that. There are people making shoegaze music in Fort Worth, but I just mean, there's probably like 10 or 15 shoegaze bands with keyboards in Philly, and I think it's really interesting that the scene kind of gravitates towards Swirlies rather than My Bloody Valentine, and there's just a tangible sonic element to them all. You could play an alt band from Philly, and I'd be like, “Okay, like, they're from Philly.” The only band I wouldn't have guessed is probably Doused. They don't really have that sound.
T: Well, that's funny, because they're probably my favorite shoegaze band from Philly. I'm really not a shoegazer nowadays, but I do listen to Doused in my free time.
F: Okay, this is a question for the band. If your main stream of income is not music, what's your day job, and what's the worst job you've ever had?
N: I crush glass in a basement, and the worst job I ever had was working at Hardee's.
J: I am very lucky to say that I work in music full-time. I'm an audio engineer. I engineered and mixed the new Knifeplay album, and many others, and I also make ambient music for meditation for a tech company.
F: Which one, Palantir?
J: No, it's not that one; it's kind of a small company, it's a startup. Oh, and my worst job was probably being a waitress. I don't like talking to strangers.
T: I move furniture.
F: What's the worst job you've ever had? Moving furniture?
T: I've had good jobs, honestly.
A: I'm a bartender, and the worst job I've ever had was being a line cook at a Mediterranean restaurant.
D: I'm unemployed, and the worst job I ever had was working in a flower shop with three old women who couldn't stop fighting. They fought constantly; it was terrible. It was an awful job.
M: I'm a bartender, and my worst job was at Jimmy John's.
F: I worked at Subway, and...
D: Oh! A sandwich artist! (He said it just like Chrissy from The Sopranos, who he bore a passing resemblance to.)
F: It was really bad, bro. That's definitely a suicide inducing job.
N: I thought we were all gonna lie about our jobs. Kind of sad, everybody went genuine.
J: Oh, true, I’m a Drone Operator for the U.S. Air Force.
N: I work for Lockheed Martin.
F: Okay, this is another question for the whole band. What are y'all's hobbies and interests outside of being Philadelphia's indie rock darlings?
A: Stay gaming.
D: I like writing and reading books, and trains, I guess.
T: I'd usually just do stuff for Knifeplay. When I'm not doing anything musically with Knifeplay, I love to read and spend time with my girlfriend, and...
F: What did you say your job was?
T: Moving furniture. I do that a lot. I like doing that. I don't really do anything. I don't really have any hobbies or recreation to be honest.
F: Okay, that's healthy.
J: I like watching movies, I do hot yoga, and I'm a little bit of a chronically online fashion girly.
F: Who’s your favorite legacy designer and your favorite current designer?
J: Oh, okay, that's really hard. I really like Anne Demuelemeester. I guess that's legacy because it’s like 80s or 90s, I think. And then current... I don't know.
N: I'm a beekeeper. I think bees are amazing creatures and should be protected.
M: I just be chilling, straight up.
A: Shooting heavy smack, blissing out.
T: Yeah, I just listen to music or watch movies, read books. I like to ride my bike. I'm either working with or for the band. I just got a helmet this year, 30 years old too. First helmet ever.
F: Okay, this is for everyone. What's your favorite show you've ever played/best show you've ever played?
T: Honestly, my favorite show I've ever played might have to be the first Slide Away, because it was the biggest thing we had done at the time, the most exciting thing, and we were able to play brand new music. After that, we started having more experiences that felt similar to that, so it kind of felt like a door we walked through.
F: Do you think that applies across the board?
ALL: Verbal and non-verbal agreement.
F: What's y'all's favorite story from tour?
A: It all blends together.
T: I know, I wish I had a good one.
A: I wish we had really thought about this.
T: Are there any really good ones?
A: Oh, yeah, I cut my finger off.
T: Basically, we were in Albany, New York… I don’t know, it's not really that interesting.
D: You could tell it in, like, two sentences.
T: Yeah, it's not that interesting, but it's probably the most interesting story we've got. We run this thing like the Navy. It's very tame. We're not a party band.
J: We like being in the van at all times. I was thinking about the time we played in Houston, and we were only there for, like, two hours because we got right back in the van to drive to Austin, so we were in the van the entire day.
T: Yeah, that was intense, but I feel like it's not like a story.
F: Wait, why didn’t y’all stay in Houston? It's only 4 hours.
J: We were playing SXSW…
F: I’m so sorry. What do y’all’s pedalboards look like?
T: I play an Epiphone, semi-hollow body, and I have a tuner, compressor, overdrive, chorus, and a reverb.
F: I mean specifically.
T: Dude, I don't even know. I have a RAT, for sure, I’d have to look at it. The reverb's that red one that all the shoegazers have now.
F: The RV7?
T: Yeah, and I have the Waza Craft chorus from Boss. I have a Boss compressor, and I just got a new tuner. I don't remember what it's called. It's the highest-rated tuner on Sweetwater, and it's the most accurate tuner available.
N: That's really the core component of the sound.
F: Yeah, it definitely all hinges on the tuner, doesn't it?
J: I am playing acoustic on this tour, and I play a Yamaha A series, I'm pretty sure, through a Zoom multi-effects, acoustic DI box. When I play electric, I have a Boss tuner, a tube screamer, the Hizumitas fuzz, an Ibanez chorus pedal that I use occasionally, and Catalinbread Echorec.
D: I'm gonna be 100% real, before Knifeplay, I never played with guitar pedals, and I straight up kind of don't know what's on my pedal board.
T: We’re not a big pedal band.
D: I'm 100% serious. I primarily played acoustic instruments before joining Knifeplay.
T: It’s like I was saying earlier, we don't use anything crazy.
F: So you're not that particular?
D: Oh, no.
T: No, we're particular, but I've had the same pedals for at least 5 years.
D: My delay pedal that’s on my board, I've had since I was 14.
J: Oh, yeah, the acoustic guitar I’m playing, I got when I was 16.
D: TJ gave me this distortion, the Earthquaker Hoof.
T: That's actually kind of a big part of our sound.
D: It’s a cool pedal. I also have a volume pedal for the slide that's sort of sitting off to the side of my pedal board that allows swell and dynamic control and stuff because the slide can be pretty unwieldy.
T: Stack, tell him about your bass pedal. That's a big part of the sound as well.
A: It's just the Boss space distortion pedal. It's like yellow, right?
T: But it has the tone knobs.
A: The color of the yellow helps, but all the knobs are just turned all the way up, so if you get that pedal, just turn all the knobs all the way up. My bass is a Peavey T40. That's it.
F: What are y'all's favorite bands out right now?
T: Coma Cinema, Superfan, Yellow Eyes. I kind of stole that from Dennis.
M: I guess I'll shout out Swans.
T: I don't listen to a lot of contemporary stuff, but anything Matthew Cothran does, I'll always love, and Superfan is a newer band that I've been really digging lately.
D: Hole dweller.
F: Anyone from Philly that you want to shout out?
T: No.
F: That's fair.
T: No, that's a joke. I like Doused a lot. They're beautiful. I don't know. It's hard on the spot.
J: Nyxy Nyx.
T: That's a great one.
F: Isn't that Sun Organ?
J: They have some overlap.
T: They're also great. I'm a really big fan of Nyxy Nyx’s stuff. It's actually been an influence lately, too.
D: Nobody knows what this is, but my buddy Luke just put out a really great, noise freak folk record under the name Nursery Lambs, and I've been listening to it pretty much nonstop. Underrated, totally sweet.
F: What are y'all's plans for Knifeplay’s future?
T: Well, we just joined Ground Control Touring. We're very excited about that. Hopefully, that will facilitate some more touring experiences, more opportunities to play music, and I’m mostly just excited to get this album out next year.
F: My final question is, what are y'all's words for the youth?
T: I would say... It's so cliché, but just be true to yourself. You know? Don't follow the trends. Don't do shit to be cool, don't feel like you have to rush and get attention. Find the feeling that you want to share, and don't be afraid to share how you really feel and think about things. Don't worry if people are gonna like it. That just applies to anything, not even just art or music or whatever. Like whatever you want to do with your life, with yourself, there's no authority but yourself. So, stay true to yourself and make yourself happy. I wouldn't say happiness should be a goal necessarily, though; it's not a goal of mine. I just think happiness is a feeling, you know? It comes and goes like everything. It's a fleeting feeling, and fulfillment, I think, often comes from suffering.
F: Are you fucking with me with that answer? Do you mean making it out of suffering or actually suffering?
T: There is no making it out. Life, as a condition, is suffering, and a big part of fulfillment, which is also not something you can really grasp at all, is radical acceptance of that. If you avoid suffering, then you're not satisfying something in your brain that you accomplished anything or that you overcame anything.
F: Are you talking about not seeking comfort?
T: Yeah. Definitely stepping outside of yourself and trying to experience things rather than doing nothing and being happy and complacent. Don't follow the common expectations for life because those are just put in place to make us work for the system, essentially. So to the youth, just suffer, it's good for you.
F: Well, thank you, Knifeplay.
T: Thank you, man. We appreciate you, dude.
Courtesy of Alice Hirsch/@h.irsch
FOSTER THE PEOPLE, PHILLY, AND FORTNITE: IN CONVERSATION WITH NOTHING'S NICKY PALERMO
by Frankie Polonsky
Courtesy of Alice Hirsch/@h.irsch
F: I'm sitting here with Dominic Palermo. Some know him as Nicky, some know him as Mr. Nothing. I just have a couple of questions for you. Beginning with, where are we? What are we doing tonight? Can you just give me some background?
N: Yeah, we're in Dallas, Texas. About to play our sixth show of the tour. About to hang with a lot of homies. Probably gonna drink a little bit too much tonight, and want to kill myself as we go into Austin.
F: Yeah, that’s a common feeling for most people who have to go to Austin.
N: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
F: I want to know a little about your musical background. What was the first band you played in, your introduction to music, and your biggest influences, then and now?
N: The first band I played in was a punk rock band when I was 13 called The Scum. Really embarrassing stuff. It was a couple of young kids and me who were friends from Philly. Then a couple of us moved on, and we were in a band called Victory Strike, which was a little bit better, but it was still kind of embarrassing, looking back. It was kind of One Life Crew worship, but without the politics, obviously, but that type of music, you know, like old youth crew type hardcore. And then from that, spawned Horror Show, which isn't so embarrassing, I don't think. And I did that for a little while, and then went to prison, and I didn’t want to play music anymore. A couple years later, I was kind of at the end of my rope, and I decided that maybe I needed to play music again, but I wanted to try coming at it from a different angle, more of the stuff that I naturally listened to, more depressive, soundscaping music, and I started Nothing, and I’ve just kind of been learning what to do along the way.
F: Speaking of Nothing, was Nothing the original band name, or did you have any other iterations? Do you remember your original band names?
N: Yeah, for Nothing, it was originally gonna be called Nausea, after a Jean Paul Sartre book that I read when I was locked up, but, obviously, there's a punk band with that name already. Anyways, I thought Nothing would be a funny name, because it was kind of, like, an anti-music project. I didn't really have any intentions of doing anything with it besides it being a bedroom thing. I made a demo, the demo was received pretty well, and I kind of got talked into doing a record with this Japanese label called Big Love Records. The intention was essentially to release an LP at one point and then just be done with it.
The name was kind of an attempt at, like, a microaggression and just kind of making it hard to Google and that kind of thing. Obviously, it's now become a pain in the ass for things like that. It works a lot better now than it did when I was like “Oh, maybe we'll start doing this for real, and then it was like, okay, this is a pain in the ass, all the URLs are taken. But now I think it's kind of evened out; you can find it pretty easily now. I guess that's from 15 years of doing this.
F: So, you were in punk and hardcore bands originally, and your latest album has some very Beatles-esque/alt-rock influence on it. The rain don't care, especially, almost sounds like Beck to me.
N: Yeah, I definitely hear the Beatles on that song.
F: Yeah, the chord change on the bridge is super Beatles. But it overall sounds like Morning Phase to me.
N: I love that record.
F: Me too, I saw Beck do most of it at the Hollywood Bowl with the LA Phil.
N: Incredible, sounds like a tough show.
F: It was life-changing. But anyway, how do you think your music and influences in making music have changed, and why do you think they've changed?
N: We started with an identity crisis when we first started. Not heavy enough for the hardcore shows that I was used to, and a little too aggressive for the indie rock shows. There was always this balance in Nothing, whether I wanted to make loud, aggressive music or make a sad, depressing song, I tried to mix them up as much as I could. I always like to have a couple of slow, clean songs on the record.
Our name was kind of torture for the longest time, trying to identify ourselves in a sense, but it eventually clicked, and people just kind of understood what we were doing, and it became okay to play whatever we wanted, wherever we wanted. With this latest record, I feel like we really honed in on that. You can just see that there’s a level of comfort in doing what we do.
Whenever we write a song, the inspiration for what I'm doing is really always based on life first. People ask what the musical inspirations are, you know, films, TV, whatever. It's a mixed bag of that, but those are just accents; it’s usually just what's going on with me, and typically it starts with pen and paper, just writing down thoughts and stuff like that, and then, if I feel like it's compelling enough, I move on to music. With this last record, the plan was to move out of the “What does Nothing sound like?” We usually take the acoustic voice memo demos I record, and sit down and figure out like, “Okay, how do we make this a Nothing song?” We didn't really do that on this record. I wanted to just let the songs kind of feel more natural. I wanted to bring the spirit of the demos to the record.
I kind of got stuck in a cycle after Guilty of Everything for two and a half years, writing, recording, touring, writing, recording, touring, three or four albums of that. Guilty was kind of a built-up kind of aggression, and this is all new to me at that point. I never really did any of this, and we had pressure from labels and stuff, trying to get a record out, so it was a little less purposeful in a lot of those records, even though it was still very meaningful. All of those records are meaningful, but it was more stream of consciousness; I didn't have that time to let the shit that was bothering me fester. That's kind of the difference between Guilty of Everything and a short history of decay, and then the middle records. Those few years between albums kind of did something to me, and I had to learn how to deal with certain things
F: You said earlier that Nothing started as a bedroom project, and you weren't really thinking of going anywhere with it. Can you kind of talk me through the process of taking the project from a creative outlet in your room to a band that's playing shows and touring?
N: Yeah, it kind of just happens, honestly. The intention was never there; it was kind of more of a therapeutic thing for me. As I said, I was at the end of my rope, kind of, and I didn't really know where I was going. I was pretty unhappy with everything, and as a last-ditch effort to channel some of the weight that I've been carrying for a couple of decades into music. The goal was to make Guilty of Everything and then just be done with it, but I started to see a different side of life around it, you know, people wanted to hear it. I kind of got sucked into it, to be honest. The freedom to be able to go and play and do all these things that I always wanted to do before I got locked up, that I kind of gave up on, just started to happen again for me.
This band gave me so many opportunities to do things and go places. Where I came from in Philadelphia, not a lot of us get out, you know? And I kind of felt like I was gifted this opportunity to do things that nobody in my family has ever done. I'm from this poor little white trash family that's like, “Oh, you're in Italy? You’re in Europe? You're in Japan?” It's mind-boggling for them still, to this day, so I always feel like I'm not supposed to be here. I have imposter syndrome for sure, but that kind of gave me a boost to push through and keep doing it. It wasn't until recently, after The Great Dismal, that I realized that I kind of shifted so far over one way that I left a lot of stuff behind, and I think that's a part of the process for this record; that’s why it's so important to me. I was kind of forced to deal with myself in these decisions that I made to put myself in this place, and look at myself in a mirror and be comfortable with myself a little bit. So it was an interesting process, getting from that point to where I am now. It kind of feels like a 360 moment, in a sense. I think I answered the question, but I don't even know. I think so.
F: In terms of how the band actually physically formed, how did you find people who were down to play with you and record with you? And since then, how has the lineup changed?
N: It's kind of always worked the same way. I've just gotten better at doing it and, like, a little bit more responsible with how I pick people to play with. But it's always been the same, I've never gone for players, you know what I mean? I have to have somebody around me that I know that I could be in a van with for fucking 60 days, you know what I mean? Tour always feels like war to me, so I have to have people that I fuck with around me, but that's not always the answer, though. We've gone through 30 different members, but I don't really look at it like that. Nothing's always been a collaborative effort. Even if there are people who played in Nothing that I don't fuck with anymore, that’s really rare. I keep in contact with almost everybody. But, everyone, no matter if I do or don't, like them has left an imprint on Nothing, I carry a little piece of everybody that's played with me along the way. I've learned a lot from other people, and I've experienced a lot, and that's kind of what turned me into who I am now, for better or for worse. I've refined it to a point now, and that's how I'm lucky enough to end up with the lineup that we have now. Everybody's pro, everybody's good at their instrument, and it's fucking gang, you know what I mean? Like, it's family. And when we're touring, it's not like anybody else. If you're around this, you just feel a different vibe. It kind of just feels like we’re hanging out, you know what I mean? And that's kind of how I always needed it to be. The second, I have to hire some dickhead that's good as shit at drums, but he sucks to be around. I just won't do it, you know what I mean?
F: We’ve talked around this a lot, but can you tell me a little about a short history of decay? Why did you write this album? What's your favorite song on the album? And what do you want us to get from the album?
N: It's hard to say favorite song, because a lot of it's heavy shit that I'm dealing with, I will say, I get more feeling out of some than others, just because of the content. But when we write a record, it's very purposeful as far as it being a front-to-back kind of thing. It's always been like that for Nothing. I don't get hung up on songs as much as I do, as how they're all gonna lay out together in a grand scheme of a full album. The biggest inspiration for this album was how we were moving at a certain pace for like 10 years, then COVID happened. We tried to get out after COVID and do some shows, but it was definitely weird and different. It's similar to driving a car at 120 miles an hour and then running directly into a brick wall. Here I am at home, everything's stopped, I'm forced to deal with my home life, and all of these relationships that I've been reluctant to deal with, and a lot of the things I just put on the shelf because I had all these distractions. It was a pretty eye-opening way of showing me how meaningful this has been for me for the last 12 years or whatever it was at that point. But what did I lose along the way? That’s what I started looking at, you know? Time with family, a lot of friends lost, I missed an immeasurable amount of things that I should have been home to experience because of touring, and now I'm sitting there in my house trying to figure out what to do with myself.
That was kind of the, that was the main drive behind this record. It’s me at my most vulnerable, trying to be as honest as I can with whoever's gonna listen to this record. I think that was my biggest intention, to try to shed some more weight, you know? Like that initial Guilty of Everything weight, but be as honest as I can, no matter how painful it is and how embarrassing it is. I wanted to just put it out there because, you know, that's what connects people with this band, and with me, it was always that honesty.
F: So as we both know, Nothing is a band from Philadelphia. Historically, there's been a bunch of great bands from Philly, but recently, there's been a crazy, shoegaze JWar adjacent explosion from Philly. There’s a bunch of these bands coming from Philly, and a lot of them have a similar sound and influence, like Sun Organ, TAGABOW, and Full Body. Where do you think that comes from? Is there a DNA in the city that just makes people write this sad ass music?
N: If you're listening, Philadelphia is always trying to tell you a story for sure. For me, it was easy. I grew up there. I'm one of the few people that was born and raised there. I’m from Kensington and Frankfurt. I lived there my whole life. I was born in a hospital under the L train. Not everyone has that, fortunately for them. But you don't have to be there too long until the city inspires you, and there's a lot of pain in the city. There's a lot of, there's a lot of life in the city as well, and I think, I think if you allow Philadelphia to envelop you in what it is, you can get something out of it. That's kind of what I learned to do, I have a deep, love-hate relationship with the city, but it's where I'm from. It's what shaped me to be whatever I am at this point, you know?
I'm not sure where everybody's from, but if you spend time there, you can get something out of it. And what Doug is doing with JWar is super inspiring. It's sick to see, because I didn't have that when we were kind of bumbling around in like 2012-13. It was really difficult to get people to understand, and I think we inspired a lot of shit. Some is good, some of it's really bad, but I do feel responsible for both ends of the spectrum. But these kinds of bands and what's happening in Philly, with Knifeplay, Full Body II, TAGABOW, I don't put myself in the same conversation with what they're doing. They're all really elevating the sound; they're doing something really unique and cool. They give me old heads status for sure, and they're always super cool with me, and we connect whenever we can and shit, but it's just sick to see it happening in my city, you know what I mean? I love to see it. That's why I brought Full Body II out. I'm a fan first.
F: No one can really ever tell if music is feeding someone, but I'm assuming you're not working at a copy center or whatever in Philadelphia. What did you do to support yourself before Nothing took off?
N: I haven't worked in a long time, per se. I don't have a day job or anything like that. But I do side hustles all the time, I'm on the grind constantly. My partner moved me out to New York, like, 10 years ago, which smokes every dollar that I have, just being there, but she's a stylist, she has to be there, so I have to be there. We're in Philly all the time, though. I do Slide Away on the side, which isn’t really about money, but if I can use what I do to get by, I absolutely will.
Right after COVID, I was moving large amounts of mushrooms for six months to get on my feet. It started out, I had a half pound, and I was selling eighths around Brooklyn. I had a really good connect out in the Bay—shout out ******, you gotta censor her name out when this comes out, though—next thing I know, I was like, “Yo, I need a pound.” A couple of weeks later, I was like, “I need five pounds.” Next thing you know, I was getting 25 pounds in the mail once every two weeks, and I was moving them all throughout Philly and New York, and I did that for about six months. I probably moved about 300 to 400 pounds of mushrooms for a little while.
F: Has the statute of limitations expired on that?
N: I mean, they're not gonna come for me. You can't really prove it. I could be lying. You just do what you can do, right? When I was younger, I used to do the same thing, and I didn't know when to stop, so at least I have enough sense that, once the COVID lockdown ended, I just got back on tour.
F: Besides your time as the Flatbush mushroom kingpin, what was the worst and best job you ever held?
N: Roofing is the worst job in the world. Have you ever done it?
F: No, thank God.
N: It’s awful. Don't do it. I only did it for a summer, and it was all Philly guys, all Kenzos, everybody was taking percs and doing heroin, everyone was high on the job. And these were big jacked motherfuckers, you wouldn’t see these guys and assume they were heroin addicts, a heroin addict would look, these guys were, like, 300-plus-pound buff motherfuckers who go to the gym on heroin. Philly's different, I try to tell people all the time, you really don't know what it’s like. These are all, Kenzo Irish Catholics and Muslims, Philly is a total anomaly. That’s easily the worst job I ever had, picture climbing up a two-story row house with a ladder, bringing 45-50-pound tar slabs. It's hot as fuck, like 100 degrees outside, and 125 on the roof. All of your bosses are all perced up and fucked up, it’s just the biggest nightmare ever.
F: So, what was the best job?
N: That's the easiest question you’ve asked. This is the best job I’ve ever had; I don't even consider it a job. I'm busy as fuck, though. I’m hands-on with everything I do. You know what I mean? Obviously, songwriting, performing, shit like that, you know, but merch designs, physical media designs, album art, tour scheduling, routing, expenses, and facilitating the show and crew. I'm busy as fuck when it comes to Nothing, and I like it, because when I have too much time on my hands, it becomes a problem. So it's good for me to stay busy. I did work in the service industry for a long time. I bartended for, like, 10 years in Philly, and that was always fun. But it wears you down just like anything does.
F: On the subject of touring, what’s the best/your favorite show you've ever played? And what's your favorite story from your 15 years of touring? And don't say Europe, 2022.
N: Yeah, definitely not Europe 2022. I will say, though, some of my favorite parts about these tours are the worst parts, because I’m able to come out of it the other end unscathed to an extent, you know? You mentioned Europe 2022. We were in the ER 4 times, and lightning struck our fucking van on that tour. It was just one of those tours where everything that could go wrong did.
F: You should read my Cam Smith interview if you want the whole story.
N: Yeah, Cam will tell it like it is. He was kind of fly on the wall for that tour, so he has a good perspective. I separated my chest plate from my ribcage, and I had pneumonia the whole tour; it was a nightmare. The cool thing about those kinds of tours, though, is that you come home, and you're like, fuck, I didn't think I was gonna make it home. I was sending texts to people at home, like, “I love you, like, I don't know if I’m gonna make it home.” I was googling how to get your body back to the States if you die in Europe. I really thought I was gonna fucking die. I thought I was having heart problems, but it was because I separated my chest plate. I went blind in one eye on that tour, too. I thought it was all related, but it was really because I got cracked on the head in 2015, and I had a traumatic cataract. It’s basically like when a pebble hits your car’s windshield, it starts as a little crack, but then it gets bigger and spider webs out. That's what was happening in my eye, so I had to get an artificial retina when I came home. When I went to the doctor, and they finally figured out that I separated my chest plate from my ribs, the doctor was like, “How the fuck is this even possible? What did you do?” But apparently, the pneumonia swelled up my organs so much that I made a wrong turn, and it just separated. We had 3 weeks of the tour, and I did the whole tour like that.
F: Cam told me you did it by doing a cartwheel at a venue in Denmark.
N: No, I re-aggravated it. See, Cam don't know what the hell he’s talking about.
F: I might be misquoting him.
N: Cam will always try to do that though, but he ain't shit. But, yeah, I re-aggravated it for sure, doing a cartwheel, but I also tore my hamstring super badly, to the point where my whole leg went black and blue. I was wasted, and the doctor gave me morphine pills, and I felt like I was unstoppable, and then I did that cartwheel and fucked everything up again. But, yeah, I went home, got everything fixed, and then a month later, we went on a tour with Boris, and the first night in Philly, I jumped off the stage and broke two ribs, and had to start the whole tour with two broken ribs, which I don't know if you've ever broken a rib, but, I'm pretty sure I might be the only person that ever thugged out a 30 day tour after breaking two ribs on the first night.
F: Maybe so.
N: But anyway, as far as best show, I can barely remember half of the shit that we do. We play with so many cool bands. I loved the Slide Away shows, doing those comeback shows with Whirr, and the redemption side of things; that was really special to me. Also, the first tour we did with Whirr, when we didn't know what the fuck we were doing, we were just wild ass maniacs. I love those shows, you know? Those are some of my favorite shows. 100-cap rooms, like, 40 people in the room, and we had like, six amps on stage, trying to melt everybody's face off, not really giving a fuck about any press or anything like that. Just sucking the day's dick, you know what I mean? Just being wild boys.
F: Pause.
N: No, that's not a pause. You don't need to pause with me. Let it run.
F: What are the Nothing tour necessities? What do you need to bring with you, and what's on your rider?
N: You already know the answer to this.
F: Well, yeah, but it's for the people at home, man. That's privileged information, you know?
N: Our rider is pretty simple. We drink a decent amount on tours. But it's a lot more controlled chaos than it used to be, for sure. I'm getting a little bit older. Alcohol’s probably the biggest necessity at this point. I don't know if we'll ever hit the sober Nothing tour. I don't know if I got it in me. I took a couple of years off when I was working in the bars, and it was miserable for me. I don't drink when I go home very often. Only occasionally, if I go out, which I don't really do anymore, I mostly just stay in the house, I’ve kind of developed a bit of an agoraphobic thing. You wouldn't even recognize me at home, it's way different. A big part of that is because I know how hard we go when we're on the road, and I also never want to have to stop, you know? I don't want to ever reach a point where I physically can't do this anymore. So, I keep that in my mind, but it's a pretty big necessity for us, I think, you know? It's more about, like, the freedom of being able to live the way that we need to live while we do this, because it's pretty treacherous doing this shit sometimes.
F: In that same line of questioning, what do you do so you don't go nuts on tour when you're on tour for weeks and months? How do you stay sane in the van? How do you make a tour not boring?
N: Super easy, keep good people around you that legitimately care about you, you know? And just enjoy that freedom that you don't really have at home, which is the one luxury that you have here. There's a lot of stuff to do. You get your job done, and get the shows done, but this is a pretty easy lifestyle, if you can handle it the right way, you know? I know a lot of guys who tour, and they get to the venue, they do the sound check, they go to the hotel room, and sit there and stare at their phones for four hours, and then they go to the venue, play the show, and go right back to the hotel. and order Domino’s. It's just so depressing to me. I don't know why anybody would want to do that. I'd rather be in an office or a janitor at a high school or something. That's shit's fucking terrible. We mark out spots. When we have days off, we try to see if there's a lake in between a drive, just go swimming, or go see a museum, or let's go hit a fucking taco place. Whatever it takes to keep a little bit of a smile on your face otherwise, what are you really doing? You know what I mean?
F: Outside of music, like, what are you into? What do you do when you're at home? Like, what are your hobbies? What do people know you as when you're not on stage?
N: I used to be in the streets a lot more. I'm not really out there anymore. I'm kind of playing house way more often than I ever have. I watch a lot of films, TV, and play some video games. Cam got us on Fortnite, but Doyle and I kind of abandoned Cam and moved to Arc Raiders now.
F: Y'all gotta get on a Uri’s stream.
N: Yeah, I see him there sometimes. We haven't linked in Speranza yet, but I see him out there. He's on it more than I am, for sure. See, I'm a good guy in Arc Raiders. I've only got about 120 hours in, which is nothing compared to these guys. But I only have 3 kills, and that feels nice to me. When I get on my server, I can just walk around and loot and collect things, which makes me happy. When I jump on with Doyle or the Whirr boys, they're just bloodthirsty, and I don't even have it in me, really. But yeah, I do a little bit of that, and I hang out with my dogs. I read a lot still. I've kind of come back around to reading a lot the past few years, which is nice, just to keep away from my phone and shit. But I'm really bored at this point; there's no mushrooms flying around, no suitcases filled with drugs anymore.
F: You never know.
N: After this tour, I might have to get back to it. That's true.
F: Let's hope tonight goes well.
N: I’ll drop you a line.
F: If you were in a situation where you could only consume three movies and three albums for the rest of your life, what would they be?
N: What the hell? That's a hard ass question, man. Come and See is probably my favorite film of all time, even though it's extremely dark. I love war movies. Goodfellas is just too good. I'll always keep that in there. What else? Anytime I see Terminator I on, I'm watching the full movie. I put it on in the green room at Saturn in Birmingham, because Bobb was watching music documentaries, and I fucking hate music documentaries. For albums, Loveless will always be one for me. I know that's the easy answer right there. I love Meat is Murder by The Smiths, that record has been a part of my life since I was a kid. Any Townes Van Zandt record, I'd say. I can always get down with Townes.
F: What's on your pedal board, and what's your rig?
N: Right now, I have an 89 RAT. I always have a Hardwire R7 reverse reverb. I have Nick Bassett's Trinity Reverb pedal, which is basically a Hall of Fame, but we have a setting in there that we’ve both shared since the beginning. It's kind of more nostalgic than anything, I feel like, there's better reverbs now, but I'm just stuck on it. Also, if it works, it works. I have an old '80s Ball tremolo. I have a fuzz pedal, but I can't remember the fucking company's name, and they gave me the pedals for free. Jupiter Effects, sorry, Jupiter. I'm retarded. But yeah, it’s a signature Nothing one. They break all the time, though. I have a tuner.
F: Classic.
N: Yeah, definitely. I still use a little looper pedal for interludes and samples. I think I have an MXR phaser. I love those. I’ve always loved those. I’ve had the same one since the beginning, somehow. I have an Alexander delay pedal. I forgot what the name is, but I love Alexander Petals. They're great. That might be it. I keep it pretty simple nowadays. In the early days, we would try to get these big boards out and do all this extra shit. But I just became more refined.
F: What about guitar and amp?
N: Well, I torture everybody by bringing the six Tone Masters out. But it's a lot different nowadays; we used to do it for so long with Twin Reverbs. I have five twin reverbs at home, but we've kind of switched over to Tone Masters. They're solid state, so we get looks from the tone dorks and shit, but they work really nicely, and we borrowed some from A Place To Bury Strangers in Europe, and if those guys are using them, then you know you're good. They're the real tone masters. Shout out to Death by Audio, too. I've seen them do it, and if they can do it, we can do it. And now I've got everybody on them, and they raised the prices of them.
I have three Jazzmasters with me on this tour. I have a Mexican one, a Japanese one from 2002 or something that I bought off Reverb, and a new '66 reissue that Fender just sent me, which they had to steal back from Foster the People. So the main guitar I use is Foster The People’s personal guitar; they gave it to him as a loner.
F: I used to be a huge Foster The People fan when I was, like, 11; that was my shit.
N: I don't know if I know a song.
F: You probably do. What about Pumped Up Kicks?
N: Oh, that's them? I know that one is good.
F: They’ve got one album that's actually pretty good, and then the rest of it's just dog shit, pop nonsense.
N: I'll have to check it out.
F: I'm gonna put you on. It's not bad.
N: Nah, shout out Foster The People. I’m sure they'll tune in.
F: I'm not trying to be backhanded at all, but you're bringing out some lesser-known bands on this tour. It seems like you have your ear to the ground a little. Are there any bands coming out right now that you're a fan of and want to shout out?
N: Not all of them are new, but doing the Slide Away stuff kind of forced my hand to reconnect with the streets a little bit. I really love War Machine. They're sick. Like, I was stoked to get them. Obviously, Full Body II and Cryogeyser as well, and VMO is the best live band in the world. I really believe it. When you see them tonight, you're gonna be like, what the fuck? I really like a lot of the Philly stuff, too. Knifeplay is one of my favorites. I really like Touch Girl Apple Blossom, from Austin. Nuclear Daisies are sick, too. Dottie's sick, Mo Dottie's sick. Just look at the slideaway bills, any of those bands are sick to me. I love that Manslaughter 777 record that Zach plays on, too. There's a lot of cool shit going on, which is nice. I feel like the state of the world always brings out good music, and it's nice to see everyone doing new things with the genre. It's an exciting time.
F: What does Nothing’s future look like, and what are your plans for Slide Away?
N: As far as Nothing goes, just getting through the day is the number one priority for me. We take everything day by day. I don't really do shit until I feel inspired, and I’ve been doing this long enough that I kind of work at my own pace and everybody's cool with that. I think it's better for everybody that way. Everyone in Nothing has all these other projects, you know? Bobb, Cam, Doyle, Zach, they all do other shit, so I can't take up too much of their time always, which is fine by me, because I'm slowing down a little bit. Slide Away is a whole different thing, and I have to stay on this pace. Trying to juggle Nothing and Slide Away is tough sometimes, but I have a good team on both sides, and they get stuff done. For Slide Away this year, I have to do the Tired of Tomorrow set, which is kind of difficult, because I'm locked in with this band, playing a different setlist, and then for Slide Away, we're gonna have some guest members from the era playing with us.
F: So y’all are playing the full album?
N: Yeah, front to back. Bassett and Kimball are gonna be playing with us on that tour, and probably Doyle and Cam. But we don't have a lot of time, so things are getting put together fast. Usually, during this time, we'd be upstairs with some guitars, running through stuff already.
F: If you have any wisdom from your learned age, any words for the young artists, shoegazers, young dope creatives, promoters, cameramen, and miscreants of the world under the age of 25, now is the time to pass it on.
N: I’m probably the worst person to give anyone advice, but the best advice I could give is out of the traumatic experiences and crises I’ve been through. I think the most important thing is to always remember to try to be yourself, no matter what. Don't try to shape yourself to anything. Don't chase something. Just try to be you, because you're special in your own way. The second you stop doing that, you're fucking up, and try to smile as much as possible.
Courtesy of Ian Enger/ @ianxenger
cam smith of ladder to god talks touring, photography, and red house painters
by Frankie Polonsky
Photograph by Madeline Bullie, @bigbulliesmedia
F: If you want to start this off with a little introduction, that would be great.
C: Absolutely. I live in Birmingham, Alabama. That's where I'm from. I work at a coffee shop, and I'm not doing music, but I’m very grateful to be able to do music in the way that I do it, while living in a very cool city that not many people know about.
F: So, you're pretty embedded in the modern shoegaze scene. I'm wondering, how'd you get introduced into music, what was your first band, and how'd you start playing live music?
C: Yeah, as a teenager, I was really into metalcore and hardcore, and I went to a bunch of DIY shows at the Firehouse in Birmingham, and I really got involved with my camera, and just did photography for many years. Just shooting any local show I went to. Eventually, I'd do some tours with local bands, doing weekenders out of Alabama. Then, this band, Orthodox, from Nashville, was the first band I ever did a full U.S. tour with, and I was just doing photos. It just led to meeting new people, and I ended up meeting Teenage Wrist from LA in 2018, after “Chrome Neon Jesus” came out, and I shot one show for them in Atlanta, where I just basically DM'd them and was like, “Hey, can I please bring my camera? I already bought a ticket.” And that led to me touring with them the next year and doing photos. Nothing and Basement were also on that tour, which is how I met Nicky from Nothing, and this was May of 2019.
F: So you've only been with Nothing since the quarantine?
C: Pretty much, yes. I met Nicky pre-COVID, and then never worked with them again before COVID hit. And I was continuing to do my own thing, like even when shows came back in 2021. Any touring that I did was metalcore or hardcore stuff. And Nicky randomly hit me up one day in November of 2021 while they were in the middle of their release tour for “The Great Dismal”. And he was like, “Hey, you should do some photos for us for part of this tour,” and I was like, “Alright, word, that'd be awesome.” And he's really bad at communicating, so it was getting closer and closer to the tour, and I didn't really know what was going on. And literally, the day of the show, I booked my flight, flew to Richmond, Ubered to the venue, and showed up. And we did three weeks, and I've done every single show with them since then.
The second tour I ever did with them was in Europe, the next year, and I did merch and photos. And then we did Europe again later that year. I did Europe twice in less than 4 months, for about a month each.
F: Did y’all play the same countries, or what did the tour look like?
C: It was crazy. It was honestly a fever dream. The first tour was awesome. It was in the spring of 2022. Everything went perfectly, and then we went back in the summer, and it was a total nightmare where everything went wrong, but we made it through, and it definitely trauma-bonded us, and that was the first tour I ever managed.
F: What were the highlights and lowlights of that? What's your favorite story from that tour?
C: So the European summer tour of 2022 was crazy. Nicky hit me up like a week before the tour, and he was like, “I can't find a TM. Are you down to do it?” I just told him, “I have literally never TM’d before, but sure.” I was only 22 or 23 at the time, and I had never TM'd, especially in Europe. Summer in Europe is weird. Most venues are shut down. A lot of clubs don't have shows in the summer, and it's really just the fest circuit. We had a bunch of fests, but they were in the craziest places, and it's hard to get club shows, so we had a lot of off days, which is crazy. Nothing has a reputation of being pretty alcohol heavy, so with all the off days came a lot of alcohol.
There was a day we were in Barcelona. I think it was day three of a six-week tour, and we were looking at 40-plus days ahead of us. We were loading out after an awesome show, and I noticed Christina from Gouge Away, who was playing bass for us at the time, lying on the ground of the venue. Which was super random because she was fine five minutes earlier. We were like, “Yo, are you okay?” and she was like, “I can't see anything.” She 100% got roofied at the venue. So, Guillaume, the driver, the sound guy, and I took her back to the Airbnb. Nicky, Doyle, and our drummer at the time, Mike, went out and partied.
Around three in the morning, I get a call from Mike, and he’s like, “Hey, we're here. Can you let us in?” I let them in, and that’s when I found out Nicky had lost his phone in the taxicab in Barcelona at three in the morning. The cab driver basically held his phone hostage. I spent the entire next day calling this taxi company, and they refused to give it to me. They were like, “We don't have it. We don’t know what you're talking about.” Then we called the promoter from the show, who’s from Spain, and he called them. Immediately, they were like, “Yeah, we got the phone, we'll give it to you.” They just didn’t want to give it to the Americans.
At that point, we were already in Italy. We had to leave, so this guy, Pablo, was gonna mail us the phone. Shoutout Pablo—this is not his fault at all. Around three days later, when we were supposed to get it, we showed up at the spot, and the address is supposed to be an Amazon Dropbox, but it’s completely in the middle of nowhere. There was no Dropbox, just an empty field. No phone. I had been trying to tour manage by myself, and all of Nothing’s assets were on Nicky’s phone. We couldn’t get into social media, no email, and the shows were barely advanced. We were just showing up blind, and it was incredibly stressful.
Two weeks later, we’re in Estonia, and we’re finally supposed to get the phone again. They reshipped it, and we’re there for three days, so we’re thinking, “Okay, surely it’ll get here.” On the third day, when we have to leave for the next show, it still isn’t there. We canceled the show, which is the only show Nothing has ever canceled that I’ve been a part of, besides when we had COVID in 2021. As we’re leaving, it’s like God appeared. This guy, Roman, who put us up in Estonia and booked all our shows there, found the phone in the last hour. We got it back, but at that point, it had been about three weeks, and those three weeks were horrible for morale. The whole group was struggling. Once we had the phone back, everything was fine again.
A few days later, we showed up at this venue in Denmark the night before the show. In Europe, a lot of the venues have lofts you can stay in, and this one was totally empty, no staff at all. They let us in and were like, “Alright, you can stay here. We'll be back tomorrow.” The venue had a full bar, and they said we could drink whatever we wanted, which was dangerous. Of course, everyone drank all night. They’re doing cartwheels around the venue, and Nicky grabs his rib and says, “Oh, no, I think I, like, broke my rib after a cartwheel.” It was a rib he had broken ten years before, so he was in horrible pain.
We did the show the next day, stayed there again, and around three in the morning, I saw him get up and leave the room. I tracked his location, and he had walked to the nearest hospital. They told him they couldn’t do anything. The next day, before a 12-hour drive to Belgium, he pulled me aside and said, “Hey, I need to go to the hospital. I don’t want to tell the others, but I need you to go with me.” He forgot his passport, so I had to go back and grab it. By the time I got to the hospital, he was already in a bed, and they had put him to sleep. They told me he had all the symptoms of a heart attack, but he didn’t actually have one, so they gave him a box of morphine, which was the dumbest thing they could have ever done, and for the next three weeks, we had a box of morphine in the van, a lot of alcohol, and people who wanted to have fun.
A few days later, we’re in Brussels walking around after dinner, and the streets are all cobblestones. Nicky and I were about 30 feet ahead of Christina and Doyle, and I heard Christina say she wanted a piggyback ride. I turned around as she was jumping on Doyle’s back, and all I saw was this tower of people falling face-first in slow motion. Doyle’s glasses shattered into his face, and Christina’s finger was completely sideways; she broke her hand. Absolute worst-case scenario. An ambulance picked them up, and Nicky and I both rode on one Lime scooter through cobblestone streets to the hospital. We couldn’t even find the entrance at first. We just kept circling the hospital for like 20 to 30 minutes. Eventually, we found Doyle, who was standing outside with a Coke can pressed against his face as an ice pack, and Christina was sitting in the lobby covered in blood. The hospital didn’t even really care. They wrapped her finger and sent her out.
At that point, the tour had hit rock bottom. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. Everyone was looking for an out, like how do we cancel this and get out, but we didn’t. No shows got canceled after that. One of the last shows was in Germany, and we were driving through a storm. We were on a bridge when there was a bright flash of white light and the whole van shook. Somehow, Guillaume kept it straight and didn’t wreck. It turned out that we had been hit by lightning. It was terrifying, and I swear to God that’s 100% true. You can ask Nicky or anyone. That tour was a karmic tour of just endless pain. Something crazy always happens on Nothing tours, whether it’s self-inflicted or not, but no tour has ever been as cursed as that one.
F: In terms of musical background for Ladder To God or just you as an individual, could you tell me about some of your influences and all-time favorite bands/artists?
C: My favorite band ever is definitely Red House Painters, and pretty much any Mark Kozelek project, honestly. Sun Kil Moon's incredible, but the solo shit is a little shaky. If you're going to listen to the solo stuff, you have to listen to the live records. The live records are incredible. “Lost Verses Live” used to be my favorite live record ever, but I think “White Christmas” is it for me.
F: Can you speak on “White Christmas”?
C: Yeah, “Admiral Fell Promises,” the version on that record, is the best version of that song for sure. Maybe in the top five Kozelek song performances ever. “Smokey” is my number two favorite. “Smokey” was my favorite Kozelek song ever for a very long time, and “Have You Forgotten” as well. The record version is on “Songs For A Blue Guitar”, but the “Vanilla Sky” version is awesome. So he's definitely my favorite ever. I've known of him and listened to him for a very long time, but like, it didn't hit for me the way it did until maybe 5 years ago.
Earlier than that, before him, I was just figuring my taste out. I didn't really know. I did all the hardcore, metalcore touring. That's all I was really into. My introduction to alternative music at all was the band Counterparts, melodic metalcore, kind of like Misery Signals. And I was in that world for a long time, and then I found Slowdive. I think Slowdive was the first shoegaze band I ever found. It was the comeback record in 2017, the self-titled one. I found that, and it definitely opened my eyes, and, because I had my introduction to guitar at church, I played at this crazy ass mega church called Church of the Highlands in Alabama. So, at 13 years old, I learned how to play guitar in hopes of playing for the church. And I did end up playing for years, but when I was 18, I stepped back for many reasons, but that is why I know how to play guitar and have the pedalboard that I do. That’s why my guitar tone is the way it is. I saw how they did it. Early Coldplay and U2 are the main influences for modern worship music. And, they take that, which is just really strong songwriting, and they slow it down, and put some reverb on it. If you listen to the first two Coldplay records, you can hear that influence through the modern shoegaze that's happening right now, too. It's [church] a crazy thing to get looped into, and I'm lucky I got out, but it made me the musician I am. My fundamentals on guitar are from years and years of only playing worship music. So, a lot of the progressions or the way I think about music have been ingrained in me from when I was learning guitar.
F: Yeah, the intro to “Everything Good In The World” is very reminiscent of worship music to me. It's like what plays while the pastor’s like, “Father God, we ask you to bless the tithe plate that's coming around right now.”
C: Exactly. It's like that shit, 100%. Yeah, I mean, that music. Not to belittle anyone who plays that music, because I know great people are doing it for what they believe in, but it’s designed to be emotional and to make you feel a certain kind of way. A lot of the music I write is me wanting you to feel the same way, but I don't want your money, and I'm not going to pretend to give it to God, you know?
F: Yeah, for sure. Pivoting from your background, could you talk a little bit about how you joined Nothing and Cloakroom?
C: So, I met Nicky and Doyle on the 2019 tour with Teenage Wrist. That was Doyle's first-ever tour with Nothing, and then I didn't see them again until at least two and a half years after that, and when you tour with people, you get to know each other. They knew I played in bands in Birmingham, and they knew I could play guitar, but none of these bands ever needed another guitar player or bass player, and I was also 22 or 23. I didn’t expect these bands to want that, you know? I was happy enough to do photos and merch.
A few years go by, and I'm still doing Ladder To God at this point, but we’re not really touring or playing shows. We had tracked the first Ladder to God EP right before the Europe tour at the very end of 2021, and we were getting demo mixes back on my first year on tour with Nothing. So I'm showing them the mixes and whatnot. And, obviously, I was a fan of these bands before I was ever touring with them. Whether any photographer wants to admit it or not, you're there because you're a fan, and, like, you don't say that. You can say it, but I didn't. I was very shy, and I still am, but it was really hard to go to these bands and be like, “Hey, can I take photos?” And then trying to do your best work and trying to impress them, it's very hard. And I respect all photographers who do that. Always shoot your shot. The worst thing anybody can say is no. I'm very lucky that they brought me in to do photos.
F: What did you do to stick out? What do you think led to you touring with Nothing?
C: I think a lot of people try to be pretty wacky with the editing, and it can be really cool, but I was so sick of carrying around a bunch of gear. I told myself I wanted to limit what I would use to shoot bands, and this goes for any creative thing. Especially your pedal board, guitar, or songwriting in general. If you put limits on yourself, and you're like, “I'm only gonna do one camera and one lens tonight,” or if you're writing a song and you're like, “I'm only gonna use 3 chords,” it leads to way more creative things that you have to force yourself to learn.
I learned how to do that with a camera with Nothing, and I would really try to get any crazy look that I wanted, or anything that I was doing to be taken raw on the camera and not worry about it in the edit. Whether it was crazy light drag or long shutter, I was like, “I'm gonna figure this out in my camera and not just rely on Photoshop to do this for me.” And it led to a lot of photos that I don't know if I would even be able to do again.
In 2024, we were all in LA for Sound and Fury. Nothing was playing, and I was there to shoot the band, and Doyle pulled me aside one day, and he basically told me that Cloakroom had just finished a record, and they couldn’t play it live, and they wanted me to play second guitar. They've never had a fourth member, so I immediately said yes, and the process of learning that set was insane. Doyle basically gave me nothing. The set was 10 songs, and five of them were off the new record, “Last Leg of The Human Table”. This was about seven months before the record came out. He brought this to me, and Cloakroom had a tour lined up in November of that year with Better Lovers, Spy, Full of Hell, and Gouge Away. And so I had about 4 months to learn these songs, which I think is fine. I had spent years learning worship songs the week of, and those songs are obviously a lot easier, but I had never played in Cloakroom, so it was not easy. I basically had to learn the album by ear. The videos Doyle sent me were the most insane things I've ever seen. He sent me a video of the song “Disillusion Wave,” where he was in a pawn shop in Las Vegas, and he found a toy electric guitar and played it acoustic and out of tune, and only played the first verse, and that was it.
F: If I were you, I would have just gone to YouTube at that point.
C: Bro, I did. I found videos of them playing in Europe. Those were the clearest angles I could see of Doyle, and I basically had to zoom in on his hands, and at the time, they were only playing “Disillusion Wave” songs. So I learned those 5 songs by watching YouTube videos of live sets, and the live versions of Cloakroom songs are not like the record. So I couldn't learn the record; it was very different.
F: So, I recently learned that you haven’t always played under the name Ladder to God. Can you tell me about the origin of the band and the name change?
C: Absolutely. The band was originally called “Just Like Heaven”. I made this band with my best friend, whose name is Cam as well, in 2019. At the time, we were kind of going in an alt-rock direction, with catchy vocals, good hooks, and choruses. And we wrote a six-song EP, 50/50; he wrote 3, and I wrote 3. He and I wrote the whole thing super quickly, and that EP is called “Synthetic Skin”. Honestly, some of those songs I still really love, but we never really got a chance to do that band. We never got a fair shot because we recorded it in 2019, put it out in January of 2020, and two months later, COVID happened, and we had never played a show. So, we never played a show for years after starting the band, and in 2021, when shows came back, we put on a show and played most of those songs. Listening back to that show, it's super rough. It's not great, but I'm still super proud of what he and I made. So we played, like, five shows under the name Just Like Heaven, and in 2022, we started writing new stuff, which is the “Devour Me” EP, and I wrote all of those songs myself. I kind of brought all of those to the table, and Cam was just down to do those songs, and we felt like it was enough of a change in sound to change the name. We both kind of didn't want that name anymore anyway, and it'd been a few years, and the sound was way different than the first EP, so we changed the name and image up a little to reflect the new sound.
F: How'd you land on Ladder To God?
C: So Cam actually came up with it. It's a lyric from the song “The Apostate” by Swans. We’re both big Swans fans, “Ladder To God” is an awesome image in my mind, and Michael Gira is a great lyricist, so we took that and ran with it.
F: So, how many songs do you have unreleased?
C: So many.
F: How many do you think you're gonna release?
C: We have some studio time booked, and the plan is to track three or four new songs. I have more, but since Nothing’s going to Japan, I don’t have much time.
F: And then you HAVE to go play with Hum in Chicago?
C: Yeah, yeah. I’m contractually obligated, I HAVE to.
F: And, Chapterhouse.
C: I know. It's gonna be awesome, man.
But basically, January is the only time I have to do a tour and then record some music for this band, and I've never given this band the effort that I wish I could, you know? I'm always doing something else, and I'm really hard on myself with songwriting. It's really tough for me to see if it's good or bad; I'm just too close to it. So I’ve never given this band enough effort, even though I really want to. The two songs we just put out have been written for two and a half years, you know? It's silly that it took three years to put out two songs, you know? But I just never had the time, and nobody else would do it besides me. I love Cam to death, but it kind of turned into me writing everything, which wasn't intentional, but it's just kind of how it was.
Then it kind of turned; he left the band and, whatever, it wasn't that deep. We’re a local band, but now, it's pretty much all on me. I have a demo folder full of songs, and I'm just trying to figure out what direction to go, you know? Red House Painters is my favorite band, and we don't sound like them, and, like, we never will, but I want to sound more influenced by that. More stripped back, more melancholy, you know. Lyrics are the hardest thing in the world, and he is the best at it, 100%.
F: Recently, I don't know, but like. Yeah, he, I mean, his music now is... It's a podcast with music behind it.
C: Yeah. It's a podcast with music. And sometimes it's genius, and a lot of the time it's not.
F: Yeah, I did not like his new album at all. He played a couple of those live.
C: Really?
F: It was kind of annoying, I'm not gonna lie. Because he just played the instrumental over the PA, he was just reciting it. Which is kind of interesting, but it was, like, 10 minutes of, like, “I looked at Twitter on my phone, and I saw that my friend from high school had passed away, and then I had another coffee, and I went to the grocery store.” It's ridiculous. There's a song that goes just like that.
C: That's awesome.
F: Wouldn’t it be awesome though, to get to the point where you can do bullshit like that and people will still sell out a 300 capacity room?
C: Yeah, that's the goal, I guess. The new stuff, I'm really excited about, and I don't know if anyone else will be, but that's cool. It doesn't matter to me. The songs we just put out, I was expecting nobody to care. I wrote those songs 3 years ago, and we don't really play shows. We don't tour, and I know I'm in other bigger bands, but I don't try to use that to, like, draw to this band. I just want it to be its own thing, and I'm so grateful that literally anybody cares at all, because I don't expect it or feel entitled to it.
The new stuff will be even quieter. And, I know that's not in trend for the scene. It’s typically the louder, heavier, and more riffy the better, and my music is the opposite of that, and I’m only getting further away from that. I think that's also nice because there's a lack of that in my mind. There aren't that many soft, gazey bands besides, maybe, Knifeplay, and they're still heavy, but they're not doing it like these other bands. Knifeplay is awesome, and Mintfield too. I think Mintfield is my favorite modern shoegaze band. They're unlike any other band in the scene. So, so good, so melodic, and the drums are phenomenal.
F: Can you kind of explain your songwriting process?
C: Yeah. So, I do it all in my bedroom, at my computer, and I have an interface, like every other musician in the world. 100% of the time, it's just starting with a guitar part, and I'm not very riffy when I write, so it's usually a chord progression. And then I'll layer it with leads, layer it with bass, and then when we go in the studio, I have the whole thing all ready to go. It just needs to be recorded. The vocals are always last. In this newest song that I wrote, I basically took lyrics from a Red House Painters song, and sang them over a song that I wrote, and then replaced all of that with my own words. I didn't have any lyrics written for the song, and I didn't know what I wanted it to be. So I just sang something to help me create a melody that might help me write lyrics, knowing how many syllables I want to do. I picked “All Mixed Up” by Red House Painters off of “Songs For A Blue Guitar”. Obviously, I'm not going to use these words, but I replaced them with lyrics I wrote, and it helped so much to make a song, and that's how I write every song.
F: Ladder To God and shoegaze in general are very effects-heavy. What's your favorite pedal if you have one? How do you dial in your tone, and how do you create your ambiance?
C: So I've had a lot of the same pedals for 10 years now, and my secret weapon is definitely the Timeline from Strymon. It's a delay pedal, but it's far more than that. It has so many settings that can do synth, lo-fi stuff, reverse stuff, and swelling. It does everything. I mostly use it for delay, but it's such a powerful pedal. The Trinity from TC Electronics is my secret reverb. I could take everything off my board except for those two pedals and have almost the same tone as my regular tone.
The fuzzed-out, distorted stuff all kind of changes. I've had different pedals and never had a consistent one. Right now, I have the bass Swollen Pickle from Way Huge. I use the bass Swollen Pickle because it gets so much more low-end than the guitar one, which I used to play, but it's just not heavy enough. I usually have a RAT as well. I took it off my board right before this tour, and I only use it stacked with the Pickle. When you stack those two, it's insane, but I never play the RAT by itself. Nicky also broke my RAT, so it's stuck on the same settings. When we were in Austin on the tour with Whirr, Nicky did a front flip off my pedal board and broke all the knobs on the RAT. It still works, though. It's a powerhouse pedal.
F: What's your favorite show that you've ever played with any of the bands you’re in?
C: Honestly, last night in Denton was awesome and blew my mind. Ladder To God’s never played anywhere near here, so I was very thankful that it was as awesome as it was.
Nothing playing Slide Away LA was insane, and we didn't really get into how I started playing in Nothing, but Nicky called me three days before Slide Away, New York, and was like, “Hey, do you want to play?” And I was like, “Well, I have to.” He gave me 24 hours to learn the 10-song set, and he basically called me and kind of talked me through each song and what he wanted, and I learned the whole set in one day.
F: So, were you TMing Nothing up until 2024?
C: Since that Europe tour, yeah, I did photos and merch. Then, when I started TMing in Europe in 2022, I TM'd from that year through basically Slide Away this year. I was still kind of helping out a little bit behind the scenes, but since I started playing, I've kind of taken less responsibility in that band.
But back to the original question, my favorite show with Nothing was either Slide Away LA at the Palladium or the Nothing and Whirr show in Atlanta at the Masquerade, mainly because a lot of my family and friends got to come to that. It was the closest show to home, and they've never seen me play a show like that. So that was awesome.
For Cloakroom, we just did a tour with Boris, and I knew those shows were going to be good, but I didn't know how good they were going to be. We played in Denver, where I also have family who got to come see me play. And it was awesome, man. It was so sick, and they got to see Boris, which was awesome too.
F: My final question is, what advice do you have for people who want to shoot bands, tour manage them, or play in them? What are your words for the youth?
C: You just have to do it. Nobody's gonna do it for you. Always shoot your shot. The worst anybody can say is no, you know? And, I think you should also know your boundaries, you know, taking your shot doesn't mean berating people and plugging yourself in where you're not really supposed to be. I was a kid, too. I was 18, hitting up bands to take photos, but even then, I didn’t want to overstep and cross the line where these people were gonna be weirded out or wouldn’t want to hire me. I was a huge fan of Teenage Wrist, a huge fan of Cloakroom, a huge fan of Nothing. I got into it just by reaching out, and obviously, you have to work hard and try to do a good job, but I was the shyest kid ever, and nobody was going to shoot that shot for me. I just kind of had to do it and push myself out there.
Most creative people are shy, you know, you're not gonna be making art if you're not that way, I think. And, if you want to start a band, start a band. It's gonna be bad at first, and you have to be bad to be good, you know. You're not just gonna be good. You're not gonna be good at taking photos for years. You're not going to be good at guitar for years. You're not going to be good at tour managing for years. I wasn't. It's trial by fire, and you just gotta, like, throw yourself in there, and find a way in. Be resourceful. If you have an in, if you have a friend who knows a friend, who knows a friend, like, use it. Don’t manipulate people, but be genuine in that way. Obviously, people use people to get things, but if you're gonna do that, you better be honest and genuine about it, and try to be a respectful person.
I am extremely lucky to be where I am, but I got it by just pushing myself out of my comfort zone. You just gotta be nice and, if someone throws you in the van and they want you to help out, just do it, even if you don't know how to do it. You learn by doing it. Just be aware. Having awareness is key. And, it'll happen, because people have to do these roles, and I'm lucky it's me. It could be you. It could be someone else. Like, it's gonna be someone, and it's gonna be the people that want to do it. So, just, you have to keep doing it.
Photograph by Madeline Bullie, @bigbulliesmedia
Trauma Ray's uri avila on texas identity, shoegaze, video games and doing it for family
By Frankie Polonsky
F: Where are we and what’s going on tonight?
U: We’re on the patio at Emo’s after playing a sold-out show in Austin, Texas, supporting Loathe.
F: I’ve been listening to Trauma Ray for three or four years. Your first EP, the white EP, was produced and recorded by Elliott Frazier. Is that right?
U: Yeah, both. Elliott from Ringo Deathstarr.
F: How did that come about?
U: We played a festival called Thin Line Fest. I think it was 2019, because we recorded in 2020, right before the pandemic. We played the fest with him, and they were super nice. Elliott, Galexy (Alex Gehring), and Daniel, the drummer—they’re all just the nicest people. He enjoyed our set and said if we ever needed a recording, he was in Austin, and we could set something up.
F: So he reached out to you?
U: In a way. He offered. They record a lot of their own stuff, so he was just like, “It’d be fun to work together.” He’s awesome—a very nice guy.
F: Your merch and Instagram aesthetic feel very video-game, movie, anime, and pop-culture focused. What inspires that?
U: Honestly, just whatever I really like. If the guys happen to like it too, I’ll make a design based off that. Most of the time, I already make the designs and send them like, “Hey, this is the merch,” and they’re like, “Oh, that’s cool,” and let me roll with it.
F: What were your favorite video games growing up?
U: Final Fantasy, Metal Gear, a lot of Nintendo. I grew up playing GameCube and Wii. ATV Offroad Fury, Metal Gear Solid, NFL Blitz, Shadow of the Colossus, Super Smash Bros., and Mario Kart Double Dash. I played everything. Video games were my life.
F: Do you ever think you would’ve streamed if that was a thing earlier?
U: Yeah. If I’d known younger that you could just keep playing video games and start streaming, seeing dudes like Ninja get huge, I probably would’ve done that.
F: Music can be controversial with family. How did your family feel about it?
U: My mom was always super supportive. My sisters were very supportive. My brother had kids young and wasn’t around much. My dad was always working—financially supportive, but not really around. It took time for everyone.
F: You’re still touring in the same van, right?
U: Yeah, we still have the trauma tank. It’s kind of a miracle it’s still alive.
F: Didn’t you have a major breakdown on tour?
U: The rear differential went out. I didn’t know you’re supposed to break it in before towing. By Salt Lake City, it sounded like a Tesla was inside the van. People helped us out with the GoFundMe, which really saved us.
F: Your No Country for Old Men shirt is one of your most popular designs. Why that movie?
U: It’s a Texas movie, and we’re a Texas band. Anton Chigurh is one of the scariest characters ever. The whole movie is tragic and fucked up. I took a screenshot, edited it, and it looked sick on a shirt. I wanted it as Texas as possible.
F: What’s your biggest non-musical inspiration?
U: Hideo Kojima. Every character in his games has trauma or pain or some fucked-up way of looking at the world. Trauma Ray songs feel like perspectives I’ve lived through or seen.
F: How did you first start playing guitar?
U: When I was about 13. My mom dragged me to church because there were free guitar lessons. The teacher stopped coming, but I was already hooked. I taught myself on an $80 Kona acoustic.
F: What were you learning back then?
U: Metallica, Weezer, Franz Ferdinand. Burnout 3 had Franz Ferdinand and My Chemical Romance, and I’d listen over and over until I could play them.
F: Church influenced that early on?
U: Yeah. I learned how to sing and play guitar because of church. Small Mexican church, Spanish worship songs, super bare-bones setup.
F: Since signing with Dais, has anything changed?
U: It’s been steadily increasing. Dais still feels DIY and artist-friendly. They help with distribution and vinyl, which we never thought about before.
F: What’s the most important song you’ve written?
U: “ISO.” It’s our one love song, and it’s for my mom. Everything I’m doing with this band is to try to make her life better someday.
F: Is there a lyric that sums that up?
U: “All I do, I do it for you.”
F: Hardcore seems important to you. How does that influence Trauma Ray?
U: For me, shows are about energy. Stage dives, crowd surfing, interaction. That’s what I love, and that’s what I want people to feel at our shows.
F: Any local bands you want to shout out?
U: Spurred, Ceramic Planet, Flowerbed, Ozone, Empty Shell Casing, Defcon One.
F: What’s coming next for Trauma Ray?
U: We’ve got a four-song EP with an intro track. It’s darker than Chameleon. The darker songs just kept going.
F: Any advice for people making music right now?
U: Make things. Express yourself. Find community. Check on your friends. Art still matters.
Photograph by Madeline Bullie, @bigbulliesmedia
Legends of the Underground, Uri Avila and Frankie Polonsky